


The Game

by zayzayzay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Amnesia, Awkward Crush, Awkwardness, Blood and Gore, Bottom Kageyama Tobio, Bullying, Car Accidents, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Multi, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Past Abuse, Psychological Torture, Psychopaths In Love, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rare Pairings, Sad Oikawa Tooru, Sexual Assault, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unrequited Love, Violence, sadist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:27:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29515995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayzayzay/pseuds/zayzayzay
Summary: All rights reserved to me the author.This is Oikawa x Iwaizumi x KageyamaOikawa is rich beyond his means, his family is twisted and cruel. to him from a young age grooming him to take over the business one day when all he wanted was to play Volleyball. Oikawa meets Iwaizumi sometime in as a child realizing that he had fallen in love for the bully who wandered around everyone but him. Maybe as kids they both recognized the evil within each other that they could balance out. Iwaizumi never hurt Oikawa, but they had always had this insatiable attraction to each other.Now moving into college, the two become the twisted couple with this strong attraction that always seemed hungry for more. What happens when their worlds collide with Tobio again?Did they recognize who he was? or did he simply just forget?That was all up to question, since Kageyama the King would never let himself be broken in front of the two elders, he had a strong broken mind which was what Oikawa wanted more then anything to destroy when he decided to begin 'The Game'||TW||Contains dark themes you have been warned, don't read if you cant handle blood, or implied rape and themes of child abuse  etc.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kyoutani Kentarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 77
Kudos: 132





	1. The Freedom that was trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [tw; implied abuse and sexual harassment]

Kageyama's eyes watched the mirror ahead of him as he took a deep breath, his skin was littered with a fresh number of raw bruises and yet he smiled looking straight into his own dull blue eyes. His long fingers moved around the area surrounding his eyes as he slowly began to apply a small coat of makeup.  
The idea of freedom registered in his mind, a soft smile playing on his face, even with the smile he could tell his body was tired from the way his joy never showed in his eyes. The egocentric king he was had changed into a friendly egocentric peasant? He was humbled now more then ever after the person he hated the most moved into his already broken home.

Even if he was tired, today was the day it was happening, Kageyama Tobio would finally be able to move on from High School to College. Where he could finally let his wings out, where he could finally play volleyball and ignore the world like he did when he was a child.  
Nothing could ruin his mood-

'' KAGEYAMA TOBIO HURRY THE HELL DOWN NOW OR I WILL FUCK THE SOUL OUT OF YOUR UGLY BODY”

Except maybe that, his large blue puppy like eyes looked to the door as he quickly ran; college meant dorm room and dorm room meant freedom from his crazy ass family it was such a simple idea yet one that felt so far away.

He kept his head down his heart pounding slightly as he reached the last stair, "About time too pretty boy" his step brother Terushima spoke his lips stretching slightly as he watched Kageyama. Terushima had moved home a few months after high school ended, they had spent the whole summer holiday together. Kageyama was terrified to say the least of the older male, he wanted to stay as far as possible from him and his friends.Terushima could see the blatant fear in the male’s eyes as he opened the door holding it for Kageyama which shocked him, he looked up noticing the black tint of lust in the older male's eyes before he quickly moved out. It was disgusting the amount of passes the other made at him, like Tobio had managed to steer clear of relationships due to his extreme love for volleyball but this was stupid he didn’t understand his disgusting step sibling.

A hand fell heavily on Tobio's ass his eyes widening as he turned to Terushima who simply laughed as Tobio quickly walked towards the car. He opened the front door quickly sitting down as the older joined him, they drove in silence the gates of his big College nearing. A smile played on his lips his dull eyes filled with colour as the car stopped, "Thank you Terushima-san" he spoke his voice soft but filled with excitement. He was actually excited, freedom was so close; he could kiss it and feel it with his whole heart.

Kageyama moved towards car side the door trying to push it open when he realised the door was locked, his blue eyes paled slightly as he turned in his seat to face Terushima who had the same lustful eyes as before, "Who knew our Tobio-kun would look so nice in makeup?" he asked the strands of his black hair tilting as he stared at Kageyama's eyes. “Terushima-san please” the black haired male spoke pushing against the door, he whimpered feeling a hand rest on his thigh gripping it slightly. "This is my college too king-kun, I just wanted to tell you that" he spoke the bomb dropping just like that.  


Out of nowhere, the cage to his freedom crashed closed his oxygen supply lessening as he turned to face the male staring into his evil brown eyes with a deepened sense of sadness.

Kageyama's paled his face becoming paler by the second, all these years he lived with Terushima and he never realised that applied to the same school. Terushima laughed before unlocking the door now, it was as if the sadistic older enjoyed the deep sadness in Tobio’s eyes.  
Kageyama moved outside himself going towards the back of the car as he pulled his backpack filled with clothes out his eyes saddened as he began to leave, he noticed the many people around in a similar situation when he felt himself pulled back.

He felt lips graze his neck his heart dropping before they slowly began to move towards his lips, Kageyama was struggling against the male's hold; he could feel the bite mark being left on his lip before he was pushed away. Tobio landed on his ass before Terushima screamed "Get away from you faggot" his voice radiated through the parking lot, he felt eyes look his direction his face turning beet red. This was the worst way to live, he could feel the faces each one bearing into his soul as if they wanted to engrave the weird blue-eyed child in their mind. He stood up quickly pulling his bag at top speed as he ran away.

The tears rolled down his face as he quickly moved towards the dorm housing. It wasn’t sadness that prompted the tears, it was the inability to attack Terushima that angered him the most; he was terrified of the older for many reasons but this was pure anger that radiated through him. He kept his head down hearing the laughs from random people, he refused to turn or look even if they weren't for him there was no way he planned to look. He picked up the keys associated with his name before running up the stairs he noticed Terushima picking up his own keys which caused him to run up faster. He knew the older was supposed to be roomed in different dorms so why were they going in the same place, was there no age order?

Sometimes Kageyama hated how weak he felt with Terushima around, it was like he was trapped in a cage his wings clipped and unable to fly, this wasn't Kageyama's real personality but there was nothing he could do from stopping the fear entering his system. Kageyama had spent so long creating a persona that no one would mess with when he was in his final year at Kitagawa Daichi, he however didn’t remember much from his time there after an accident he had. When he moved to Karasuno, things changed for the better; he wasn’t able to report about his home problems but at least he had people he considered friends. So, the direct change from being comfortable to know had terrified him.

Tobio's chest heaved as he ran to the forth floor; he bolted down the corridor not once looking behind him as he reached the room number '427'. Tobio pushed the door open eyes looking in at the two boys briefly before collapsing onto the ground, he heard the door close behind him a big sigh of relief leaving his lips when he looked up realizing a dark pair of eyes were staring down at him.

His eyes widened as he sat up slowly realizing how close the brown eyed male was, the taller didn't move back. Instead, their eyes met Tobio's soft breath slowly fanning across his face; he froze moving back the other's head staying close to the door, the other's eyes scanned him a smirk laying on his lips as he straightened his back. 'Yahoo Tobio-chan, I'm Oikawa Tooru' he spoke his voice cold, the shivers slowly slivered down Tobio's back his eyes widened as he tried to speak "Hello Oikawa-san" spoke his voice coming out surprisingly clear.

Something about the male struck a nerve in his body, it was like muscle memory when he stared at him; even saying his name felt natural on his tongue.  
Oikawa sat back down on the last bed, his eyes still staring intently at Tobio; there was a bed in the middle and then one pushed next to the side next to it, he noticed the other male in the room before the low voice spoke "I'm Iwaizumi Hajime, faggot" the voice on the last bed spoke causing his heart to pound slightly, sadness filled his eyes as he pulled at the large luggage. He didn’t bother greeting the male as he sat down on his own bed with the bag placed roughly on it.

He couldn't help the feeling of annoyance that spread through him as he knew he would have to bring back the egocentric king to survive his college years.

Both Oikawa and Iwazumi didn't care much about his arrival as they were nestled into their phones, he felt the relief spread over his chest as he leaned into the bed in comfort. He nodded to himself before unpacking his stuff pulling enough clothes to shower, he picked up the towel his eyes watching Oikawa and Iwazumi for a while before he moved towards the shower to clean the past away, good thing his foundation was somewhat waterproof.

It was safe to say, even if they had saw any bruises it wouldn’t be like they cared; indeed it might have set a joyous flame under the two older senpai’s especially seeing their lovely kohai after such a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to make this evil before I make this happy :D


	2. Oikawa's View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [tw; sexual content]
> 
> Oikawa's little view of Tobio arriving and the slow begin to a long death xd  
> 

Oikawa’s View 

Oikawa took long strides, his slim figure walked across the halls of the dorm house a dark smirk playing on his lips. He too loved the idea of freedom, being able to live far away from his family; he absolutely adored that now he could play college volleyball without the fear of his family’s overbearing nature raining down on him.  
The strands of brown hair that softly fell past his eyes pushed back as the wind blew his way; being Oikawa Tooru, the beautiful yet overachieving athlete was never easy but Iwaizumi Hajime made it easier.

He smiled to himself slightly noticing the shorter male standing outside his dorm door, he had arranged it so that they would share a room; he didn’t really care about who the third roommate was because all that had mattered was being able to have Iwa-chan to himself.

His eyes watched the muscular figure a smirk playing on his lips as he walked forward, in perfect time as the black spikey haired male opened the door to the dorm they were yet to share, not realizing Oikawa who stood behind him. Iwaizumi walked in Oikawa following closely as the door shut behind them, Oikawa's fingers wrapped tenderly around the slightly showing skin of Iwaizumi’s waist. His head laying quickly against his shoulder, a gasp sounded as the cold pale fingers slid up Hajime's side.

The sound intoxicated Oikawa, maybe the idea of not seeing each other for so long was what drove him closer into wanting to see Iwaizumi beneath him; he heard the soft drawl of his child nickname scoffing slightly.

"Shittykawa" Iwaizumi spoke softly turning to meet Tooru’s face, his lips stretched watching his shorter male’s eyes widened. "I missed you too Iwa-cha-" His words weren't spoken when the soft skin of his lips attached against the soft skin of Oikawa's lips, Iwaizumi's hands now secured a spot around his neck pushing him towards the wall. A hum of satisfaction left the younger's lips as he felt his lips glide across my cheek, oh how long Tooru waited for this exact moment for a month. A groan left deeply from the brown-haired male, his hands gripping Iwazumi's waist as his lips fell towards Tooru's neck.

That was all he needed, that soft groan was all he needed to feel the need of desire grind into his system as he walked backwards Oikawa's eyes not seeing anything but lust for the shorter as he pushed Iwaizumi back. His lips parted his eyes filled with lust we had no time to speak, Oikawa’s hands moving up his thighs towards the waist band of his tight jeans. Oikawa's eyes widened hearing the sinful groan leave Hajime’s lips when the long fingers glided over the bulge that was becoming prominent.

They were both virgins, but that didn't change how right this moment felt for them, the taller stared down at the soft plead in Iwaizumi’s eyes; Tooru didn’t miss the hint as his lips leaned down to kiss the still clothed bulge. Iwaizumi's body twitched his hips arching forward when the door began to jingle. They both shot up turning around as a tall black-haired male fell into the room. Iwaizumi was clever moving away from the middle bed he jumped onto the one away from the door. The door shut, fully now Oikawa's attention turning towards the crouched figure at the door, the sight of his body as he breathed heavily. His puppy like eyes were closed his body heaving for air continuous not noticing the other two in the room. The brown-haired male let his eyes glide down his body watching the somewhat skinny body. Thick thighs showed clearly through the fabric of his jeans. A small smirk began to play against Oikawa’s face as he crouched himself inching himself forward to the slumped figure.

Don't get Oikawa wrong, he loved Iwaizumi. It was as simple as words could be said, but he knew how to admire beauty. He leaned forward now his face watching him, the person now.

_Kageyama Tobio._

Now that was something Oikawa never expected, he never wanted to see the small blacked haired male ever in his life; yet here he sat. Oikawa would never forget those eyes, his dark blue eyes opened watching Oikawa’s own. There was a hint of confusion on his face as he sat up the air from his lips gliding over Tooru’s lips at how close the taller moved.

Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the soft blush that began to rise,

_how cute; was he shy?_

__

Tobio leaned away from Oikawa’s face his head leaning into the door, the smirk on his face never left; for a second he wondered if the shorter male had realized who he was, he wanted to badly to see the fear in his eyes when he remembered the older setter. Their past had been one painted in blood and tears, and for that Oikawa would make sure Tobio would pay.

_After all, he was the one who left._

"'Yahoo Tobio-chan, I'm Oikawa Tooru " The tall male spoke noticing Tobio’s sigh as he moved away, it was clear the youngest didn't recognise Oikawa or Iwaizumi. He even seemed calm in their presence which irked Oikawa, he wanted Kageyama to fear him again he hated how normal he seemed.

The real question in Oikawa’s mind as he moved away was if Iwaizumi recognized him? Oikawa turned to face Iwaizumi who’s face showed a hint of annoyance from getting interrupted from their session " I'm Iwaizumi Hajime, faggot" Oikawa groaned internally at his lover's words as he sat back. Iwaizumi had to keep up his status, his bullying aura and the fact that he was seen straight. Oikawa had always thought he had it rough but it was obvious Iwaizumi 's dad was grooming him to lead a large future business, this was how they had initially became such close friends they both understood the struggles of not being able to do what you love. 

Tobio's eyes widened at the harsh words the sadness was obvious to me as he waddled over to his bed. Oikawa watched from the corner of his eye as Tobio faced away from him pulling the clothes from his bag, the brown- haired male smirked staring at the sight that beheld him. He licked his lips the tender calloused skin becoming soft as the tall male walked away towards the shower.

Tooru’s eyes quickly turned to Iwaizumi "Do you recognize him?" Tooru asked his eyes somewhat hopeful as the younger smirked, "The faggot that was caught kissing one the Seniors" he spoke his eyes tinted with mischief, Oikawa however frowned nodding. If Iwaizumi didn't recognize Tobio then there was no point bringing it up. He dragged us through the mud with his innocent eyes, it was time to pay back.

Even if Iwaizumi didn’t directly answer to recognizing the raven haired male, Oikawa knew he wouldn’t forget Tobio; especially after Kageyama had hurt him the most, even if it wasn’t friendship it was still betrayal in the elder’s mind.

"Wow we are rooming with your new play toy" Tooru laughed as Hajime smirked, "Kageyama Tobio" Hajime mumbled his eyes tilting back to mine as he spoke his name. "He's dead meat" he spoke his voice darkening as he lay back. Tooru watched him his frown turning a somewhat twisted smirk,

___Kageyama Tobio, the King your reign ends now and forever you will be as good as dead._ _ _

Oikawa didn't knew he would love to watch Kageyama suffer for the pain he put them through after he disappeared, he knew he wanted the youngest to feel the pain after they lost that one game.  
How one of their dearest friend’s died trying that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy my lovelies


	3. Salt and Orange equals salty oranges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I literally have not slept since Wednesday, it is literally morning here on thurday someone help me ;-;
> 
> Chapter is about friendships, my brain is tired so tw just incase there is triggering content because I can't remember

Kageyama sighed in content his bruised body met with the warm water, he felt relaxed as he felt the droplets drip onto him. He felt calm, his mind was only wondering now how he could survive in college, he wondered if any of his acquaintances from Karasuno had come to the same place.

Tokyo College, was popular after all; especially in the sports field.

Tobio smiled at the idea of being able to play once again volleyball after the incident, the Tokyo College was known for the huge gyms and the multiple different teams that trained there, all he had to do was join one of the competitive teams.

For some reason, his mind wandered back to the brown haired male and the blacked hair roommates. Fate?

He sighed the words continued violently in his mind, he felt like he knew them from the way his body reacted trying to run far away from them, it was like simple muscle memory. He knew that after the car accident he had lost a lot of his memories of middle school and high school, all that had played on his mind was the words ‘King of the Court’ he wondered maybe that he could get back his memories at some point.

Tobio couldn’t help frown, did he really want memories of violence between his parents, if his dad hadn’t remarried maybe the in-house violence would have gone maybe his mum would have survived the car accident.

_The day of the accident was clear as day in his mind it was probably the memory that existed so clear, his mum and dad had gotten into a horrible argument about how his father had another wife and that he was blatantly cheating behind her back. “It’s not cheating that I’ve asked for a divorce and you won’t sign, you fucking idiot” The man had spoken his eyes dark as he stared at his on-paper wife._

__

_Kageyama had only been roughly fifteen at the time he had just won a game against Aoba Josei and was so excited to tell his parents, it was one of his earliest memories of what he could remember. “Fine, go live with them” she had screamed her drunken voice heavy with a hint of evil as she grabbed the fifteen-year old’s hand, “Where are you taking my son you, slag” The man had spoken darkly, Kageyama could hear the screams of his father as his mother and him ran out of the house._

____

_She didn’t bother strap herself or allow him to strap himself as they drove. The car hadn’t even moved that far before the accident happened, the mother drove straight into an oncoming vehicle, it was the last thing Kageyama remembered before everything went black._

____

The Tobio standing in the shower noticed he was standing there for too long as he sighed lowly, he forced himself out of his thoughts turning to the surgery scars on his left shoulder and arm. He traced them his mind darkening at the thought of if his mother’s dying corpse had any flesh left on it or if it had decomposed completely. The raven-haired male walked out of the shower standing in the bathroom specifically staring into the mirror with a sigh, 

_Where did I go wrong?_

He glared at the pinkish mark on his ass, it resembled the shape of a distorted handprint; other then that his body was littered in a slight purple colour. It seemed that Terushima had been really pushing the limit on beating Kageyama up, he wanted to see how long it would take to shatter the bones in his left shoulder and wrist again. Most of the time Kageyama was clever in screaming extra loud any time the older male punched him on the left, that way the idiot would leave him alone quicker.

_____ _

The noise of shuffling caused him to reach for his large black hoodie, the door opened with a thud before the youngest of them screamed his soul leaving his body “WHAT THE HELL?” his hands pulling the hoodie down roughly, Iwaizumi glared the dark tint in his eyes as he moved towards the toilet ignoring the younger screams.  
Oikawa on the other hand, had burst out laughing the second Tobio’s inhumane scream surfaced around the room, the brown-haired male had only stopped when his eyes zeroed in on the pinkish bruise on Tobio’s ass and the varying bruises that coated his legs. It wasn’t long before Kageyama covered them with his underwear and black sweatpants

_____ _

It was obvious from the energy that surrounded the room that something was going to happen especially when Iwaizumi hadn’t moved, “Why the fuck are you screaming? Can I not go toilet in my own room?” The voice asked darkly, Kageyama stood there a scowl painting his face as he looked to the shorter spiky haired male.

_____ _

Oikawa smirked, he basked in the glory of the moment wondering how he could manipulate the situation to better fit his viewing purposes. Tobio was dumbfound, he was happy in the fact that he believed no one had seen his bruises but on the other hand he was worried hearing the dark edge in Iwaizumi’s voice.  
“Sorry Iwaizumi-san” he spoke quickly, trying to remove the scowl from his face, the shorter man looked at Kageyama in disbelief; “So the King finally learns to say sorry” he spoke darkly, it was then Oikawa realized that Iwazumi really could never forget Tobio; he decided to stand up slightly moving closer to the bathroom door to happily watch the argument better.

_____ _

“King?” Kageyama spoke lowly, his own eyes darkening; so, they did know him “Are you from Kitagawa Daichi?” he asked causing the spiky haired man to laugh, the chuckle did nothing to ease his worries “Are you fucking kidding?” Iwazumi asked, earning Tobio to tilt his head slightly. The wet strands of hair fell to the side revealing a few of his ear piercings it was only a simple piercing but still enough to be shocking “No, I’m not kidding” the arrogance in his voice was probably what set the smaller male off.

_____ _

The muscled frame charged at Kageyama, the taller of the two registered the angry movement a little bit too late before his body was pushed into the long mirror, he groaned lowly his side hitting the table. Iwaizumi pulled the one inch taller male closer to his face “Stop fucking with me, don’t you know what you did?” He spoke darkly, Kageyama stared at him his eyes showing blatant confusion. The oldest male raised his hand to punch the youngest when Oikawa decided to intervene.  


_____ _

“Iwa-chan I thought we were going to make him suffer?” the annoying high-pitched tone asked a pout accompanying Oikawa’s features “What did I do?” Kageyama asked lowly, his eyes becoming increasing tired of the situation.

_____ _

Iwaizumi released the younger a smirk playing on his lips, he moved back noticing the taller soft brown eyed male skipping towards them “Oh ho Tobio-chan you have a tongue piercing?” Oikawa’s loud voice spoke, Tobio was still having a hard time understanding that was going on as the cold fingers wrapped around his chin. “Open your mouth” the older of the two spoke lowly.

_____ _

“No” he spoke quickly pushing the hand away with a scowl “Will you show me in exchange for my volleyball position?” Oikawa asked a dark smirk playing on his lips. It was like Oikawa knew Kageyama was suffering from a form of amnesia, to him it was like god had given him the opportunity to mess Kageyama up completely.

_____ _

“Okay” Tobio spoke not letting a second pass between the question “I play setter and Iwa-chan plays wing spiker” he spoke tilting his head to see Tobio’s reaction. Kageyama stood there wondering if any memories had unlocked in his mind. He frowned slightly before sticking his tongue out as promised. The brown-haired male smirked his fingers pressing Tobio’s pink tongue, he stared at the silver metal stud in disbelief, in all his life he would never had expected Kageyama Tobio to get a tongue piercing. The one who screamed about perfection and wanting to be the best stood there with his tongue out. “You got anymore?” he asked tilting his head to the side, Kageyama pushed the male gently moving away to pick up a towel for his head “that’s for you to find out another day” he mumbled lowly.

_____ _

\--------------------------------------

_____ _

The rest of the day seemed to go by calmly, there was nothing that happened aside from the incident before, due to it being a Saturday Kageyama knew he had a good whole day of sleeping on Sunday before he could assess the situation with Terushima and around the college. The younger setter pulled out a ball from his back leaning back on his bed as he threw it up, the noise of the ball thudding against hands causing a grown from the older setter.

_____ _

“We were sitting so quietly for so long, why do you have to ruin it Tobio-chan?” The male asked frowing, his button up white shirt shifted as he turned to stare at the ball more “You know you played us in High School” he spoke glaring at the ball in Tobio’s hands, “My memories are varied, I don’t remember everything but I remember some things” he mumbled sitting up with the ball in his hands.

_____ _

“Isn’t that nice, you don’t remember the bad” Iwaizumi spoke lowly his eyes still glued to his phone, “Oh? There was bad?” Kageyama scowled a small smirk playing on his lips as he deep down he wanted to aggravate the male “The fuck you smirking at you faggot” that word caused him wince slightly, Kageyama settled the ball down ignoring the stares from Iwaizumi’s looks.

_____ _

He instead picked up his old model flip phone opening the it with a smile, a message

_____ _

**Irritating Orange**  
KAGEYAMA TOBIO ROOM NUMBER NOW :DDD

_____ _

**Kageyama**  
No moron, stop text screaming.

_____ _

Kageyama smiled softly knowing that he wasn’t alone, of course Hinata came to the same college; after the orange haired male declared to defeat the younger it was clear that he would follow him. Deep down that made him feel warm hearted. 

_____ _

“KAGEYAMA” the voice screeched through the door. The warm-hearted feeling he had felt a few seconds ago disappearing into a cold chill.

_____ _

“HOW THE HELL DUMBASS?” he screamed equally as loud ignoring the two angered male’s who had now sat up, Kageyama rolled out of his bed pulling open the door to stare at the few people that had decided to come to his room

_____ _

“I asked the office” Hinata spoke a huge smile playing across his face as he pushed into the room, “Hello Kageyama” Yamaguchi smiled brightly as he walked in uninvited followed by a tall blonde angry looking beanstalk “Hello your highness, how does it feel to have your slaves coming to you for lunch?” Tsukishima asked lowly his tone slightly less salty than usual.

_____ _

Ever since the accident, the Karasuno team hadn’t left his side; it was like a huge family that always followed them around but he loved it either way. It wasn’t like his actual home was any better anyways.

_____ _

“OOO GREAT KING AND SEIJOH’S ACE” The loud annoying tone spoke as Kageyama turned around tilting his head “Great King?” he mumbled turning to look down at Hinata, the shorter orange was now staring at the two males with a big grin as they seemed to greet each other “I’ll explain later Kageyama-kun” he spoke happily. “I have come to ask if you were considering gayism and if you would join me in a gay relationship” The small male had a tone of seriousness as the taller stared at him in disbelief.

_____ _

It had been exactly eight hours since he had arrived at the school, it was literally seven and already his day had been too eventful. “Are you mentally stable?” he asked lowly a small chuckle leaving his lips, “No I saw the video of you trying to kiss that senior” he spoke causing Kageyama to frown. There was no way in hell he was going to tell them that that idiot was his step brother who had a thing for annoying him, and using him a human punching bag because he enjoyed Kageyama’s reactions.

_____ _

“Hinataaa—” Yamaguchi drawled out trying to get the oldest 1st year to shut up. “Oh” Tobio mumbled not replying past that, he noticed the tallest of the group talking to Oikawa as he turned towards them “Food” was all the salt shaker said, he could feel his eyes lighten up as he turned “Why didn’t you say sooner?” he noticed the ghostly smile on Tsukishima’s face, he knew it was genuine but it still irked him that their ‘friendship’ had grown this much. “I did when I walked in, but your highness ignored me as I am a peasant” Tsuki laughed turning to Yamaguchi as they all stood up.

_____ _

“Why don’t we come?” Oikawa smiled brightly, causing Kageyama to feel slight caution he looked at Tsukishima who sighed lowly “he was asking before so I said yes” he sighed. Tobio nodded before picking up his wallet, he had already stared to the door when he noticed a shadow of orange zoom furiously past him “DON’T TAKE A FLYING START HINATA DUMBASS” Kageyama screamed, he tried for a second to resist the urge of running before giving into it.

_____ _

His body took off like a fish in water quickly matching Hinata’s fast pace, he didn’t exactly know where he was going so took the chance to assess the surrounding; there were a few other large dorm houses and large scenes of trees that passed before they arrived to the small on campus noodle bar. The two huffed together, slouching over a tree as they breathed in large gulps of oxygen “did we go too fast?” Kageyama spoke through the breaths, “yes” was all he received as the ball of orange turned to him “Kageyama don’t lie to me but are you okay?” he asked the hint of teasing gone from before while he stared at the younger raven-haired male.  
Kageyama stared at Hinata noticing the worry that laced into the brown eyed male’s tone, he sighed lowly tilting his head to the side again “I’m fine Hinata, the video from this morning was just random” he spoke lowly causing the older to pat his head “we should call our guard dog kyoken-kun” he laughed quickly.

_____ _

It was no secret that Hinata had developed a real liking towards the spiker from a team he didn’t remember, Kageyama didn’t know when exactly Hinata’s liking started towards the blonde buzz cut male but he liked that Hinata was happy with someone. He felt the older pat his head as he turned his eyes narrowing in on the group that had formed, “Huuuuh” he spoke in utter disbelief seeing that there was more than the four people from before. He felt his body stiffen slightly watching as the group walked towards the tree.

_____ _

Kageyama was most definitely not a fan of big groups he despised them even more after his memory depletion, he however did feel a sigh of calm after seeing the faces he recognised. “Kageyama” the happy tone spoke rushing forward, Suga’s brown eyes watched the blue eyed bean with a smile as he walked over to hug him. Tobio tried not to show the immediate happiness at meeting the setter that practically taught him the meaning of teammates.

_____ _

“Suga-san” he greeted straightening as they all turned towards the restaurant, he noticed how Daichi waved walking ahead of everyone. Suga was quick to join the male at the front, Kageyama was left towards the back trailing behind with the two people he didn’t really recognise. He turned to stare at the two elders only to find them staring back intently at him, Tobio couldn’t help feel the awkward feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know if he should look away first of if he should stay staring at them.

_____ _

“Tobio-chan I know I’m beautiful but you can stop star—” the voice was cut off with the sound thud, Iwaizumi had managed to jab Oikawa hard enough for him to regret walking out. He felt a smile light across his face not wanting laugh.

_____ _

The smile was however wiped off when he felt the feeling of digging in his brain, he paused for a second eyes wide as he gripped onto his skull. The two that were walking behind stopped quickly curiosity flaming in their eyes as the rest of the group walked into the shop.  
A memory began to surface,

_____ _

_It was Kageyama from when they played a volleyball match; he could see both Iwaizumi and Oikawa standing in the court both wearing gentle smiles as they stared at Kageyama. There was another person that stood close to them or was it two other people, now that he could see properly the two weren’t staring at him; they were staring at other people._

_____ _

_“Makki-chan sorry the toss was too high” Oikawa drawled out a smile so bright that even Kageyama couldn’t understand. He looked so happy, did that mean all the other smiles were fake. In the background he could hear the chants ‘let’s go Seijoh’_

_____ _

The memory began to fade as the voices of the present formed came into reality.

_____ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh I'm so tired ;-; I wrote loads more as a backup but damn I really stayed up xd  
> Also tell me if you like it so and gimme advice I love you guys even if its one message it makes my day


	4. Tongue Kidnapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't what to say except Tsuki kidnaps Tobio's tongue

Iwaizumi’s View

Iwaizumi stared at the younger his eyes boring holes into Kageyama as he watched him grip his head with a painful express. As much as he wanted to hate him, he couldn’t for something that he couldn’t control. Hajime was however clever in knowing that if he came between Oikawa and his revenge, he would become the subject of the manipulative male’s attempts.

He shook the younger roughly staring as the blue eyes watered slightly, “What’s wrong with you?” he spoke causing the dazed look on the younger’s eyes to clear “Nothing” Kageyama spoke rubbing his head. Iwaizumi stared a little longer noticing the way Tobio was still staring at the two even after their little pause. “Oikawa san, who’s Makki-chan?” he asked lowly.

In that moment Iwaizumi could feel the utter darkness that surrounded Oikawa, he could tell if the younger pushed any further he would be violently dragged into the anger that bubbled off from Oikawa. The blue eyed male seem to notice backing away his hand still wrapped carefully into his hair as he walked away quickly to catch up with his friends who were already ordering.

“Oikawa, what are we going to do?” he spoke lowly turning to meet the brown eyes of the angered male, he could hear the hint of darkness that consumed his tone “I want him kill himself, I want to torture him to his own death” he spoke darkly causing the older to sigh. “Your wish, my command Great King” Iwaizumi laughed lowly a twinge of guilt entering his system.

Oikawa had too many reasons to hate Kageyama, and he had one. He wondered if Oikawa’s mental state would recover fast enough to save the blue-eyed male from imminent death or if Kageyama would die in the eyes of a remorseless Oikawa. “You know what I realized” Oikawa spoke a smile painting his features as they arrived to the door of noodle bar. “He seems to be scared of Terushima Yuuji” he spoke continuing; Iwaizumi stared confused as they pushed the door open to the warm noddle house. 

“The person in that video” he continued.

Iwazumi couldn’t help think about how terrifying it was for Tooru to already know this, “He’s in the same year as us a he’s a floor up to our room, wouldn’t it be nice to invite him over?” Oikawa’s cold tone spoke before the orange ball ran towards them.

“Chibi-chan did you order for us too” he asked causing the orange haired male to pause turning back running back to the tall blonde “TSUKISHIMA ORDER FOR GREAT KING AND ACE” he shouted causing Kageyama to scowl “DUMBASS HINTA YOU DUMBASS WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING” he shouted equally as loud.

Iwaizumi stared intently at the taller raven-haired boy; he couldn’t believe he was the one that drove his friend to suicide. There was no way. Oikawa pulled the spiky haired male into the booth settling down, Iwaizumi allowed himself to think back to the day when he realised Oikawa was first starting to have psychopathic thoughts.

_They had just finished practise while he had begun to pack away all the balls; Oikawa was still practicing his jump serve with a violent look in his eyes, Iwaizumi had recently noticed the eyebags under the light brown eyes it was obvious Tooru hadn’t slept properly in days. The stress of the tournaments and practice was building up._

_Hajime was probably the only one who knew about Oikawa’s problems at home, his parents were evil narcissists that fell in love with themselves and the idea of self-growth through the connection of marriage. Oikawa was a product of their marriage but also an outlet for their money and ideologies, so it was no surprise that Oikawa became slowly like them. He just never thought he’d see the day when he would breakdown._

_He watched as Kageyama asked the same question he always asked again “Oikawa-san can you teach me to jump serve” it was a small question the shorter looking excited to talk to Tooru but Iwaizumi could see Oikawa’s breath stop the utter look of violence coat his tone as he screamed at the smaller male “GET AWAY” he screamed causing Iwaizumi to act grabbing the hand that lifted to slap Tobio._

_He didn’t care for Kageyama, he just didn’t want to risk Oikawa getting expelled for something so little; “Calm down you idiot” his voice spoke calming the brown-haired male, his eyes widened in knowledge of what he had just done._

_That was when Iwaizumi turned to Kageyama, he noticed the look of utter fear coat the blue-eyed child’s features; the small blue haired boy stepped back a few steps before turning away, the ball dropped from his hands “Sorry” Oikawa spoke trying to call the boy back, it was as if he hadn’t heard him at all. Tobio continued walking slowly out of the gym as if he had seen a ghost, Iwaizumi didn’t understand as the boy walked away his body heaving for oxygen, he instead turned to Oikawa who looked like a kicked puppy._

_“He’s terrified of me” he spoke softly his eyes widening as he stared into Iwaizumi’s eyes “Tooru he’s not, you just shocked him” he spoke trying to diffuse the look in Oikawa’s eyes. “I’ve become just like my parents” he spoke taking in a big breath to settle himself, a single tear rolled down his face causing the older to make to stare at him in shock “Tooru” Iwaizumi spoke shocked to see the tear, the younger however began to laugh like a maniac, the tears rolling faster down his face “Isn’t that amazing, they got what they wanted, I have finally become them” he laughed becoming increasingly manic by the second._

_“Tooru—" Iwaizumi began only to be cut of by the dark look in the male’s eyes “Well if I’m already like them, I might as well continue” he spoke darkly wiping the tears out of his eyes as he picked the ball Tobio dropped. he moved away the older causing Iwaizumi to feel the darkness settle into his friend._

_“Tooru, you are nothing like them trust—” he couldn’t finish the sentence again as Oikawa threw the ball up spiking it into the opposite court, even if it was empty the sound thundered into the space showing that the innocent mind Oikawa had was gone. All that was left was the monster that manifested the manipulative person that worked harder then most._

_“I liked the look in his eyes anyway” Oikawa spoke his voice low and dark “If he wasn’t born I would have made them proud yesterday when they came to watch my match, but no—” he paused a smile lighting the dark features “they put the genius in instead of me” he spoke finishing the sentence “Why does he deserve a title when he doesn’t even try?” he asked Iwaizumi not wanting an answer. The spiky haired male stayed quiet listening to him. “I want to see him cry for a change, wouldn’t that be beautiful I want to see him beg his parents to keep doing what he loves” he laughed in finality as he turned to leave the court._

_After that day it took some time for Oikawa to forgot about Tobio it was especially easy after joining Aoba Josei, it was three years of peace when the demons came knocking at their door again. When he first saw Tobio again at that practise match. He had thought it was a coincidence, oh how wrong Iwaizumi had been._

_Oikawa wanted to see him, hes the one who made sure that Kageyama would be setter the whole game through. That was truly when Oikawa began plotting everyway possible to see Kageyama fail, he wanted to watch him in despair and that scared Iwaizumi how much Oikawa could hate someone. How much his childhood friend turned into a monster that he had to protect, the person he loved so much that he would die for._

“Are you going to eat?” Iwaizumi tilted his head up noticing Hinata staring at him in confusion, Oikawa wasn’t bothered eating the noodles that were placed in front of him

Hajime nodded quickly beginning to eat as he stared intently at Kageyama, he noticed the way he ate slower shifting side to side, he still wished he could understand why Tobio was the one who drove their friend to suicide. It was the even that caused all this madness, Oikawa had only been planning small things such as Kageyama getting a knee injury similar to his own. But after the day Tooru found out his friend killed himself, he went crazy he wanted Tobio dead without a single idea of remorse entering his mind.

Iwaizumi’s thoughts blurred again remembering the light brown-haired spiker,

_Takahiro Hanamaki. The last time he had ever seen him was after an argument Oikawa had with the male about Kageyama after their loss against Karasuno. Makki was never one to place blame, but that day was rough on everyone; he shouldered the blame himself. He knew how much Oikawa wanted to go to Nationals but he wasn’t able to block the point when it was most important._

_He also remembered how he shouted watched Oikawa feel worthless about being less then Kageyama, that was what broke Makki the most thinking that he was the reason for Oikawa’s pain. The last words he had ever said as he cycled home was simple “I wish I could be a genius like Kageyama at blocking, that way we could have won, bye guys”_

_It was a normal goodbye, no one expected that to be his final bidding words. It’s painful to say, they never saw the tall male ever again after that._

\--------------------------------------

Back to Kageyama’s View

After they’d all finished eating sitting there for a few minutes in an uncomfortable silence, the only one who didn’t seem remotely bothered was Hinata he was almost shaking with the need to speak “Hinata do you need to pee?” Kageyama asked glaring at the smaller male, “YOU HAVE A TONGUE PIERCING SINCE WHEN?” the voice vibrated through the slightly empty noodle bar, Tobio’s mouth hung open in shock at how loud Hinata had been.

“It is late Hinata why are you so restless?” Kageyama asked trying to change the subject when he realized that Sugawara began staring intently alongside Daichi. He coughed before Oikawa’s high pitched tone spoke up “He totally has one, it’s a long stud” he spoke in a proud tone. “That’s not fair I want see” Hinata spoke pouting “Want to show your friend eh Kageyama?” Hinata continued trying to make the younger stick his tongue out.

Yamaguchi’s eyes also trying zeroing in on his mouth, “I want to see too” he mumbled watching his lips longer to see if the male even moved his mouth. Tsukishima stared at his childhood friend frowning at the intense concentration, he quickly glared at the blue-eyed male before spouting a plan.

“Kageyama I think you’re so sexy, I saw you in my wet dreams” Tsukishima spoke causing the raven-haired male to stare at him his mouth hanging open in shock; he smirked realising that Kageyama fell right into his trap his long fingers quickly pulling at Kageyama’s face. He places his thumb between the space of his mouth turning his head to Yamaguchi “See nothing cool” he spoke causing the table to erupt in laughter.

“Wow that’s so cool Kageyama-kun” Yamaguchi laughed staring at Tsukishima more then he did at Kageyama. Suga exploded seeing the metal, he instantly began talking about infections and how it wouldn’t close if he wanted it too later. Kageyama sighed as Tsukishima pulled his hand out of his mouth, “I should have bitten your finger off, then let’s see you try block a ball with a stub” he glared angrily causing the blonde to smirk back at him “What’s wrong king are you sad me a lowly peasant succeeded in silencing you?” he spoke his cocky tone showing as Kageyama glared trying to think of a comeback, he was truly dumbfounded.  
“Let’s head back, it’s getting dark” Iwaizumi spoke his tone light after laughing at the two as they bickered. Iwaizumi turned to face his friend, noticing his mood hadn’t changed since Tobio asked that question.

When they finally reached back to the dorms, it was quite late the rest the Karasuno boys had already gone to a different department so Kageyama was left walking alongside the Seijoh boys. He hated how everything turned cold after he mentioned the name Makki, he sighed being the first to open the door, the other two seemed deep in conversation as they walked in. “Kageyama why don’t you remember us?” Iwaizumi was the first to ask the second they walked into the room, “I just don’t” he spoke lowly before turning towards them “If it makes you feel any better, I remembered a game with Seijoh banners and you and two of your friends” he spoke feeling a tightening in his chest as he saw the look of evil in Oikawa’s eyes. He was smiling at him in a way that screamed that he was waiting to suffocate him with a pillow.  
The look in Oikawa’s eyes reminded him of his mother’s, he watched him stepping back slightly a look of discomfort entering his eyes as he turned towards Iwaizumi, the older sighed a look of worry passing his eyes for a split second he couldn’t help wonder if he had imagined it.

Kageyama turned away, placing the phone on the bedside table the accompanied his bed; he quickly went into his bag pulling a lamp that Tsukishima had given him. He groaned lowly placing the dinosaur object on the table before quickly looking at the two, “Don’t tell Tsukishima I use it” he spoke quickly getting the words out as fast as possible. Iwaizumi chuckled softly moving towards his own bed, he noticed Oikawa still frozen in place staring at him; he couldn’t help feel uncomfortable.  
“Oi Shittykawa” Iwaizumi spoke snapping the younger male out of the trance, Tooru blinked a few times before moving to his own bed “I don’t like let when I sleep” Tooru spoke with a smile. “Okay but I can’t sleep without light” Kageyama spoke instantly, he turned to Oikawa ready to begin the argument “I’m older so I get priority” Tooru spoke his tone deepening slightly.

“NO!” Kageyama spoke loudly, his eyes widened slightly realising himself that he had shouted at an elder “Kageyama, how dare you?” Iwaizumi spoke lowly staring at the back of the younger. “Are you going to sleep now?” Kageyama spoke quickly trying to figure out a plan to make sure he fell asleep with the light “No” Oikawa spoke simply a small smile playing on his face.

Tooru was excited, he learnt another one of Tobio’s fear’s of course he was going to use it to the best of his ability. “Okay t-turn the light off when you go to sleep” he spoke steadying his mind, he groaned internally. The stutter was something he had when he was younger, he used to speak extremely fast as a child so his parents used to get annoyed at him; so, to battle this habit he used to switch paces between sentences causing the stutter. He thought it had gotten rid of it, yet here it was.  
He quickly stood up from his bed, getting up to get a thinner shirt; and shorts. Tobio walked into the bathroom changing before he came out to the room where to two elders sat on their phones, he blinked a reddish tint forming on his neck as he pulled out the large volleyball pillow.

“What’s that Tobio-chan?” Oikawa asked a teasing smile on his lips “Eighteen and still need to hug something?” he laughed “not to mention the need for night light” Tooru continued, Tobio sighed not bothering to retort. He instead slipped under the covers of his bed pulling the pillow to his chest; his body turned to face Oikawa as it was a natural way for him to sleep. He planned to sleep while the light was on so that he wakes up when the sunlight came into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love chuuu so I give extra update in same day :D


	5. She never died, in my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So TRIGGER WARNING   
> sigh I'm starting to believe most of my pages of warnings on them :c  
> [tw choking scratching]

_Kageyama was deep into his dream, in his dream Tobio sat on the edge of his bed; his fringe not really his eyes as they did now. It was clear he was a child; his mother had been sitting at the end of the bed her eyes red with alcohol and tears, he stared at her with a frown before speaking up “mama?” he spoke causing the manic woman to turn her eyes to her child she smiled darkly “If I didn’t have you” she spoke her eyes looking clouded, the woman’s eyes were a soft brown her hair placed short at her neck. He stared at her blinking softly at the woman with sadness that tinted his blue eyes._

_“You don’t want me mama?” he asked his lips pulling into a frown as he stared at her intently, she giggled lowly her mindset reverted “You look just like him, you didn’t want me Tobio you didn’t want my eyes you wanted his, you didn’t want my hair you wanted his. You want your dad” she spoke darkly her fingers picking up the pillow closest to her._

_“Do you want to see clouds Kageyama?” she spoke deeply using his sir name rather then his actual name. She laughed darkly before pushing the pillow onto Tobio’s eight-year-old face. His body thrashed slightly in the dream before being pushed into another scene, Kageyama could feel his real-life body breathing hard; but he didn’t know how to wake up. It was like his dead mother trapped him in his mind to torture him longer,_

_“Kageyama Tobio” the voice spoke, it was his father’s tone this time his voice sounded distant and tired “What grade did you get in class?” he asked staring down at the small child. The room was dark with a small night light turned on; it was the middle of the night when his father opens the door to ask about his grade. His frantic mother following behind, Tobio may have been only ten now; but he could tell his mother had woken his father up for no reason._

_Tobio’s small hands rubbed at his eyes before he smiled softly, “I was number one in class papa” he smiled brightly holding up one finger, his father smiled however it was wiped off quickly by the frantic woman “ASK THE MARKS” she shouted causing_

Kageyama’s real body to shudder, it sounded so real. The fact it sounded so real scared him, he could feel himself begin to breathe harder now 

_“What marks Tobio?” his dad frowned tired at the frantic nonsense “28 out of 30—” before the small child could finish the sentence a slap resounded. The soft brown eyes his mother had widened as she slapped the small child._

Kageyama sat up his throat seizing up, he blinked trying to get light into his eyes when he realized the room was pitch black; his heart pounded harder against his chest a strangled sound leaving his mouth.

**Utter darkness.**

Panic set into his soul as his hand quickly ran over the side table to look for his phone, he needed light even if it was a little bit, he needed it. He craved the safety that only light gave him, in the dark monsters like his mother hid waiting to terrify him more and more.

His mother’s voice played in his mind again almost getting louder as the darkness began to wrap its metaphorical fingers around Tobio’s throat.

Kageyama began to choke, not being able to get enough oxygen into his system fast enough. He could feel his body heave with the need as he sat up completely, he couldn’t see anything not even his dinosaur lamp; he felt a whimper leave his lips as he struggled off the bed. He kept heaving his body felt like jelly. “Iwaizumi-san O-Oikawa-san” he spoke quietly his voice catching in his throat.

 _‘Kageyama’_ his mother’s voice sounded again

**I’m going crazy,**

**Its closing in, she’s going to throw me in the basement so that I can find her happiness.**

**Help me please.**

He realized both the males were practically dead to the world, he wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t hear a bomb drop, Tobio began to really feel the pressure in his chest as he rolled to the edge of his bed. He stood up stumbling, his hand raised to the skin against his neck clawing at in the hopes that if he created a hole, he could allow oxygen in. Tobio almost screamed when his thigh collided with the side of a table, instead he clamped a hand around his mouth his body tumbling to the ground.

“Please” He whimpered softly begging his legs to cooperate as he tried violently to crawl to the light switch; Tobio’s blue eyes widened trying to make himself see better in the dark. The more he tried the more he knew that he most likely going to pass out before reaching the door. 

_‘Are you running Kageyama?’_ that soft feminine voice asked, mocking blatant in his mother’s tone; she lived in his mind even if she were dead. She was never gone

“Go away” he whimpered softly his body limp; he didn’t know where he was anymore. It felt like hours but in reality, it was merely minutes, when he heard someone shifting in their bed, he wanted to call out he wanted to scream for help but all he could do was breathe heaving the oxygen into his system.

He lay there trying to regulate himself, and keep himself breathing he; it wasn’t working, nothing was working. All he could imagine was his mother’s pale fingers pull at his legs and his whole thought process would revert back into a state of fear

_‘Kageyama’ she giggled_

_‘Kageyama want to see clouds?’_

“Please” he whispered, his voice rough unable to produce a loud sound because his body was shutting down.

He heard movement, unable to speak only being able to breathe heavily his eyes clamped shut “Kageyama” Iwaizumi’s voice sounded as the light switched on, the black spiky haired male’s eyes widened in horror as he stared at Tobio’s heaving frame, 

“Kageyama” Iwaizumi spoke again in utter shock, “W-w-wait” he stuttered out his breathes beginning to calm when he heard Oikawa’s groan “Iwa-chan turn the light off” “Shut up Shittykawa” Iwaizumi spoke deeply, his tone filled with tiredness 

The oldest male walked over leaning down, to stare at Tobio’s limp frame “What the hell happened?” He asked Tobio who just stared at him with an empty look on his face, he almost wanted to smirk and tell the older ‘told you so’ Kageyama warned them that he wouldn’t be able to sleep without a light, so it was their own fault for turning the light off.

“Are you going to answer?” Iwaizumi asked again, his eyes showed no emotion; “The least you could do is reply Tobio-chan” the low voice asked, it was filled with a tired tint which caused Kageyama to frown deeply. The thing was he wanted to speak too, but he didn’t know if he would be able to. His breathing normalized as he continued staring and the empty space under his bed, he didn’t really make it too far from the bed before his body collapsed. Kageyama wanted to laugh at himself, he really wanted to giggle at the fact he had just been trying to crawl like a spider to get to a light switch.

Iwaizumi groaned not knowing what to do at this point. He turned to Oikawa as if to ask permission. “Just help him up” Tooru replied rolling his eyes slightly. Iwaizumi stared into the soft brown eyes noticing the hint of joy in them, he frowned deeper an unsettling feeling resting in the pit of his stomach. The dark brown eyed male placed his arms under the youngest’s armpits pulling him up into a standing position, just as the older began to release the hold, Tobio’s body stumbled forward causing the youngest to groan lowly.

“Ah so he is alive after all” Oikawa laughed hearing the subtle sound. Iwaizumi placed his arms around the male’s waist before practically dragging him back to the bed. Tobio felt like a ragdoll at this point broken and ready to be throw to the dog, he groaned again his body hitting the bed. “Oi Kageyama, your neck” Iwaizumi spoke his eyes wide as he started at the long-bloodied scratch marks. Oikawa was quick to jump off the bed at those words his eyes zeroing in at the blood with a satisfying smile.

Kageyama stared at him blankly, deep down he knew that some part of this was revenge; it was the feeling deep in his soul that made him believe so “Oikawa-san, why do you hate me?” he asked lowly his voice rough, he coughed swallowing his spit when Iwaizumi handed him the water bottle “I don’t know what you mean Tobio-chan” he spoke a smile playing on his lips. There was a subtle hint in Oikawa’s eyes that he had never seen before, he didn’t know what it was but it made him feel calm. 

Iwaizumi stared at his friend and then at the bloodied neck, Oikawa and Kageyama were like two puzzle pieces they both had different shapes yet both tried desperately to fit into the last slot of the incomplete puzzle. They were the same in a different nature, “Let me get the scar cream” Oikawa spoke turning to pick up the small first aid kit, he sat beside Tobio on the bed his emotionless eyes wandering over his frame. 

He began to rub the cream over Kageyama’s neck as he drank the water slowly, “What did you dream about?” Oikawa asked in an uninterested tone, Tobio stared at the soft brown eyes; “Nothing” he spoke simply as Oikawa picked up a bandage wrap. Iwazumi let out an internal breath as Tobio didn’t reply, he knew Oikawa like an author knew a book; Tooru didn’t care for the male he wanted more information to torture him. Anything to make Kageyama consider death, Oikawa frowned slightly watching as the youngest’s eyes began to close “Oikawa-san you remind me of my mum” he smiled softly before falling back to sleep.

Oikawa stared at him incredulously his eyes glaring deep at the shorter male, “Ah I must make him feel so comfortable right Iwa-chan” he spoke lowly glaring at the sleeping frame, Hajime frowned staring at the man he loved. He couldn’t help wonder if Oikawa’s soul was painted so black that not even white could make grey. He stood up walking towards the tall frame, he let his hands run through Oikawa’s soft brown mess; he noticed the older setter begin to look slightly sleepy a small smile forming on his face.

“Come on sleepykawa time for bed” he mumbled with a tender tone as he started to move Oikawa off the bed, the taller stopped him before leaning down cuddle up next Tobio, “What are you doing?” Iwaizumi mumbled in utter confusion, “I want to see if he talks in his sleep, I need dirt on him” Oikawa mumbled before closing his own eyes.

Iwaizumi stared at the two,

_what the hell just happened?_

“shittykawa” he mumbled glaring at the two sleeping bodies, he turned to pick up his phone a great frown framing his face 4:00 am. What the hell was his day? So much had happened in a day he couldn’t believe it was possible that only one day had passed. He watched the way Oikawa completely fell asleep confused, how exactly was Tooru going to hear him talk in his sleep; then it dawned on him that maybe emotionless Tooru was even slightly worried even if he didn’t show it. 

Sometimes Iwaizumi wondered, if Oikawa was born in a normal home; would he be able to be happy and fall in love without the shadow of the younger male’s parents. 

_Was it cruel that Iwaizumi wished death upon Oikawa’s parents?_

He sighed yawning himself as he crawled into his own bed, he decided that leaving the light on wasn’t such a bad idea especially if Kageyama reacted that badly; he couldn’t feel curious as to why the raven-haired male was that scared.

Hajime sighed the sweet feeling of tiredness invading his senses as he fell gracefully into a beautiful sleep.

\-------------------------------------- 

Oikawa was the first to wake, he normally was used to the early mornings because of volleyball practise; he felt the body tangled in his staring down at the shorter setter with a frown. He felt himself stiffen ready to push the black haired male off when his eyes noticed the bandages. “Tsk” he mumbled to himself turning his head to the right to see Iwaizumi fast asleep. 

He didn’t know why but he stayed still, but he did, letting the raven-haired person sleep a little longer. His eyes focused on the features, the way Tobio’s hands gripped at his shirt as if he let go Oikawa would leave. He then noticed the permanent lines between his forehead, Tooru let his pale finger soften out the bunched lines causing Kageyama to sigh happily. The older setter smiled, before wiping the smile clean off his face. 

He had realised he was sleeping with the child that drove his friend to suicide, if Kageyama hadn’t existed his whole life would be different he could have gone to Nationals, beaten Shiratorizawa and made his parents proud. He felt the cold chill in his bones, Oikawa never let himself be happy especially when he knew that his parents would do anything to make sure he was never happy. He glared at the male before placing his hands on Kageyama’s hand that gripped at Oikawa’s shirt, he began to dig his nails into it pulling the hand off. Tobio winced, those blue eyes stared at Oikawa s look of sadness coated them for a second before the blinking into reality, the eighteen-year old’s body stiffened. 

“Why are you in my bed?” He asked in such a quiet tone it could have been mistaken for a whisper, Kageyama untangled his limps practically rolling off the bed like a professional. He landed on his ass, like the idiot he was born to be. He slowly stood up to message the sore flesh “I don’t bloody know” Oikawa lied, “You have gorilla glue grip Tobio-chan even when I tried to leave now you didn’t let go till I ripped your hand off” Oikawa added in his deep morning voice.

“I see” he spoke his attention turning to his fingers with a frown, he noticed the nail indentions trying to smooth them out. Oikawa waddled out of Kageyama’s bed returning to his own with a smug look plastered on his face. He watched the blue-eyed male walk into the bathroom, he hadn’t noticed it this morning but he noticed it now when the male walked back out.

Kageyama’s eyes looked dead, his eyes had the type of look that made corpses look alive.

When Tobio came back out of the bathroom; the bandage around his neck had now been removed and there was sight of a faded purple bruise under his eye. Oikawa followed the male’s movement. He looked shallow, and pale which was unexpected. It was just yesterday his skin had a soft glow, now he looked genuinely like a walking corpse. Kageyama had leaned into his wardrobe section to pick up the foundation, “Tobio-chan wears make up” he spoke trying to get more information out of the corpse looking male.

Tobio instead stared at him a soft smile painted onto his lips “Oikawa-san it’s a bit early for teasing” he mumbled realizing the time was only 11am, if it had been up to him, he would have stayed asleep till midday. “Can I have the first aid kit” he added searching around before a figure loomed slightly over him, he tiled his head staring at the small bag “let me wrap it” he spoke pushing Kageyama down slightly, he forced the younger to sit on the bed so that he could wrap the angry scratch marks.

He pulled the scar cream, trying to apply it quickly. Kageyama flinched each the cold cream touched the scar, his face formed a scowl “Can you stop moving” Oikawa mumbled, when the deep voice spoke from behind the; “Goodmorning” Iwaizumi grumbled sitting up, Kageyama stared at the eldest’s hair a laugh forming in his system; the spikes of his hair didn’t seem to have their normal shape, in fact they were all messed up making it look as though he were a monster. He began to chuckle, Iwaizumi’s confused face staring straight at the blue eyed male; he smiled slightly before standing up “What happened to your face?” he asked the younger asking about the bruise he had from a few days ago. His body stilled slightly, what was a fool proof excuse “Hinata pushed me into a door” he spoke as Iwaizumi’s rough hand pulled his head up “Iwa-chan do you mind I’m treating the patient” he spoke his deep voice now gone as he pouted at the shortest male. 

“You’re doing a shit job anyway shittykawa” he spoke causing the brown-haired male to pout slightly “mean Iwa” he mumbled pulling the bandages. “Why did you scratch yourself anyway?” he asked as if the answer wasn’t clear that he had a panic attack.

Tobio stared at him a pointed look in his eyes “basically at night I become a cat, and I dream about setting for Nekoma and then Kenma-san attacked me in my sleep when in reality it’s just me scratching myself” Kageyama spoke with such sincerity that Oikawa scoffed a small smile playing on his lips.

“Didn’t you beat Nekoma at Nationals?” Oikawa asked in a deep rumble he sounded angered at the fact that Tobio had even went to Nationals.

“No I didn’t go to nationals, my team went” he spoke causing the brown haired male to stare at him in confusion “That’s a lie you won against Shiratorizawa” he spoke glaring down at Tobio to see if he could catch the lie in his eyes, “No Oikawa-san, I didn’t play against them I was in the hospital” he spoke with sincerity. It wasn’t a lie, he had been in hospital after the car accident.

“Explain” Oikawa spoke darkly, his soft brown eyes darked as if a storm were readying to hit Kageyama. The youngest looked up feeling a shudder run down his back, he didn’t know if he should tell Oikawa. He thought it was common knowledge among people that he was in an accident that stopped him from going to Nationals. “I was in an accident” he spoke simply not including that his mother had died, or that he had an injury that could potentially affect his setting skills. It was stupid to tell your opponent’s your weaknesses anyway.

“What type?” he asked lowly when Iwaizumi intervened “Tooru” he spoke in a serious tone realizing his friend’s mental state. 

“Iwa-chan—” he whined with a frown showing the oldest that he was okay “- I’m just curious” he mumbled in his pouted tone, “Car accident” Kageyama smiled “Nothing serious as you can see, I’m still in amazing shape and also will beat your ass again” he smiled brightly as Oikawa tightened the bandages around his throat. He choked yearning a chuckle from Oikawa. “Nyehahah take that you brat” he spoke as Iwaizumi smacked the brown haired male in the back of the head. “Shittykawa” he spoke lowly. 

“Mean Iwa-chan” the soft brown-haired male frowned rubbing the back of his head. 

Oikawa turned back to Kageyama with a smile “Are you coming to the 1st year party today?” he asked tilting his head “The what?” Tobio replied confusion setting into his face “1st year’s party, it happens when the 1st years move into their dorms” he spoke; as if on que his phone began to ring.

He frowned moving out of Oikawa’s hold, he couldn’t find his phone yesterday so he was shocked to find that it was in the same place he left it yesterday. He stared at it for a while in confusion before picking up the call,

“Hello” he spoke, before his body froze up “Tobio-kun” Terushima’s voice rang through the phone, 

_What the hell? How did he get his number?_

Tobio quickly pulled the phone away from his ear ending the call, a small smirk played on Tooru’s face as he watched the black haired male’s fear. He was right, Kageyama Tobio was scared of Terushima Yuuji.

 _Perfect_ he thought,

He turned towards his friend who sighed softly, at Oikawa’s smile. Let the games begin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love chuuu sorry if this made you sad :c


	6. Thoughts-?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Oikawa view of the night 
> 
> tw-
> 
> please read the note at the end ^^

Oikawa’s View

It was Oikawa that that had moved Kageyama’s phone, he watched the small setter cuddled up to the volleyball pillow when he took it. He wanted to make sure Terushima had his number. The two hadn’t spoke much, only simple texts back and forth. 

**Oikawa**  
Teru-chan are you coming to the party tomorrow?

 **Terrorshima**  
Of course, why do you ask? You don’t normally message me?

 **Oikawa**  
I was curious, sheesh why are you being suspicious. ☹  
ALSOOOO I was curious about the video that was going around, the one of Kageyama kissing you 

**Terrorshima**  
Ahhh yeah well I don’t exactly like him, we have quite a long past

 **Oikawa**  
Ooohhh I want to know :O I don’t like him teru-chan I want you to become terror-chan

 **Terrorshima**  
Huh-

 **Oikawa**  
What I mean is he’s my roommate

 **Terrorshima**  
OH REALLLYYYY?  
ISNT THAT AMAZING  
Tell me the door number  


Oikawa smirked at his phone, his head staring down at Kageyama’s phone; there was a picture of an old man for his screensaver he stared at it realizing that the features resembled Tobio very well he stared at the phone frowning when he saw the password. 

**Oikawa**  
Do you know his password?

 **Terrorshima**  
Duh, its Kazuyo Kageyama

 **Oikawa**  
Who the hell is that?

He frowned at the password typing the letters out into the phone to check if Terushima had been lying, when the phone opened up he stared at it in shock.

 **Terrorshima**  
His grandad

Oikawa rolled his eyes at the stupid sentiment, his fingers rolled around searching the phone for dirt

 **Terrorshima**  
Oi Oikawa give me his number

 **Oikawa**  
xxxxx-xxxxx-xxxx

Oikawa didn’t even hesitate before turning his attention back to the phone, he scrolled into the notes only to find detailed lists for grocery shopping. He couldn’t help groan at how boring the younger setter was, he had no social apps and nothing that he could use-

Or so he thought, 

His fingers pressed on the photos app a smirk playing on his lips, there were many pictures of Kageyama and the old man from his screensaver; it was very clear the old man was important. He continued scrolling noticing a video of himself there,

_Huh_

He pressed the video his eyes widening when he realized it was a video of his jump serve, even now Kageyama was obsessed with the jump serve; he continued scrolling before his fingers stopped. 

_A childhood photo._

Kageyama’s eyes were red from looked like tears, yet he stood between his mother and his father with a large smile. The small boy held onto his dad’s hand while his mother placed a hand on his head. Oikawa could see that Tobio looked most like his father, there weren’t many features that resembled his mother except the scowling look. 

He hid the phone after that turning the lights off to go to sleep.

Oikawa was the first to wake up when he heard Kageyama’s soft voice, a large smile forming on his face as he looked at the blackened figure in the dark. “Iwaizumi-san O-Oikawa-san” the small frame begged, Tooru felt the feeling of joy shudder through his body continuing to act asleep as he saw the heave and beg he wanted Kageyama to scream “Please” he whimpered again causing the soft brown-haired male to cover his mouth, he wanted to chuckle so badly.

Exactly like his parents would have done, he wanted to laugh at Kageyama the same way they would laugh at him when he was scared of the dark. Maybe Oikawa was helping the youngest to get over the fear the same way his parents did, by plunging him into it.

The minute continued when he heard the voice of his older friend, a frown settling on his face; he wanted to shout at Iwa-chan to leave the light of but much to his displeasure it was turned on. 

“Iwa-chan turn the lights off” Oikawa grumbled angrily acting as if he had just woken up.

He sighed hearing the conversation between the two, he only replied robotically whenever he could; it was only when Iwaizumi looked over at him did he realize that Kageyama needed help getting up “Just help him up” Oikawa sighed lowly.

His eyes watched the shaky frame as his friend pulled him up, 

_Guilt_

_The feeling of utter guilt_

It dug his way into the core of his stomach when he stared at the blue eyed setter, his eyes were bloodshot and the eyebags looked heavy. He couldn’t really see as his head was faced down but he noticed the blood on the fingertips of the smaller setter. 

It was clear Oikawa didn’t expect the black-haired male to react this badly, he did enjoy the sound of Kageyama’s heaving but it was completely unexpected that he would injure himself. 

“Kageyama, your neck” the sound was enough for Oikawa to propel himself off the bed, a small smile played on his lips when he saw the long red scratches. They bled in such a pretty way it almost reminded him of his sister’s suicide attempts, the blood blotted gently out of each scar; some were more violent then others. 

Oikawa would have stood there staring if he hadn’t heard the young male’s voice “Oikawa-san, why do you hate me?” Tobio asked his blue eyes empty with an emotion unknown to Oikawa.

“I don’t know what you mean Tobio-chan” he spoke a smile playing on his lips. There was a slight hint of sadness that played in his eyes, he did hate Kageyama; sometimes when he thought about the reasons, he hated him he found himself feeling unreasonable. Of course, in the end it was too late to say sorry; he might as well go all out. Oikawa wouldn’t regret his decision to destroy Kageyama there was no way.

“Let me get the scar cream” Oikawa spoke turning to pick up the small first aid kit, he sat beside Tobio on the bed his emotionless eyes wandering over his frame, in Tooru’s eyes the smaller seemed vulnerable at the moment, there was no emotions but the red ring around his eyes hinted at the deep saddess. 

He began to rub the cream over Kageyama’s neck as he drank the water slowly, “What did you dream about?” Oikawa asked in an uninterested tone, in reality Tooru was most definitely curious as to why Kageyama, the perfect genius was suffering so much when he did so little.

Kageyama in Oikawa’s eyes was perfection, he was everything he wanted to be. 

A genius,

A loving family

and perfect grades.

He wanted that, he wanted to be able to do what he loved; yet even when Kageyama had a perfect life he decided to ruin Oikawa’s already horrible life. He took volleyball away from him then continued to come to him with that mocking look on his face proving that he was better.

The last straw had been Makki’s suicide.

Oikawa would never let himself forget; he would never let himself pity the blue haired setter. If what Kageyama had was the perfect life, Oikawa wanted to make sure Kageyama left the world so perfect himself. 

The way Makki died, and his sister died. He was Kageyama to join them, bleeding out in a bathtub or running out into the road with the cars driving forward at full speed. He wanted Kageyama to kill himself.

“Oikawa-san you remind me of my mum” The small male spoke causing Tooru’s eyes to widen in shock

Oikawa stared at him incredulously his eyes glaring deep at the shorter male, “Ah I must make him feel so comfortable right Iwa-chan” he spoke lowly glaring at the sleeping frame.

Was he so comforting that Kageyama trusted him the way he trusted a mother? Oikawa couldn’t help the feeling of disgust entering his system.

His emotions were a clear mess, Oikawa didn’t understand whether he was disgusted or slightly happy that Kageyama seemed better then a few seconds ago. Iwaizumi friend stood up walking towards Oikawa pulling, the tall brown haired man out of his thoughts; Tooru leaned into the hand letting the fingers message him into a state of sleepiness.

“Come on sleepykawa time for bed” Iwa-chn mumbled with a tender tone as he started to move Oikawa off the bed, the taller stopped him before leaning down cuddle up next Tobio, “What are you doing?” Iwaizumi mumbled in utter confusion, “I want to see if he talks in his sleep, I need dirt on him” Oikawa mumbled before closing his own eyes.

In reality, Oikawa just wanted to hold Kageyama, not that he understood why. But he did anyway wrapping the small frame into his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never realized how tiring formatting can be jeez, also writing too; your comments really make me work hard guys I absolutely love them so please keep them coming. I love hearing your opinions on the characters but please don't hate on me for writing them that way ^^
> 
> I realize that loads of the chapters have tw but I promise that as the story continues it will get better, this story is definitely not for the faint hearted so please don't read if you can't handle.
> 
> Thank you my kittens x


	7. Filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might post another later, this is a little bit of a filler ^^

The three had spent their time eating and playing on their phones, Kageyama hadn’t wasted a second when he blocked Terushima’s phone number. He was safe because the older male didn’t know his room number, as long as that was a secret Kageyama wouldn’t have to see him.

Tobio couldn’t help thinking about the party today, he scrolled through the messages to notice a new group chat being opened.

**KARASUNO SLUTS**

**Sugamother**  
TANAKA THAT ISN’T APPROPRIATE

**RinoSkye**  
SUGA SAN ITS OKAY KIYOKO ISNT HERE

Kageyama could already feel, the urge to leave the chat there was no way in hell that he planned to stay in it; it was the least of his worries.

**Irritating Orange**  
KAGEYAMA ARE YOU READING?

NoyaSenpai  
It says Milkbrain on my screen, is Kageyama Milkbrain?

**Milkbrain**  
What the hell, I didn’t change that username?

**Irritating Orange**  
I don’t know too, I think the ‘IRRITATING ORANGE’ did it

Kageyama sighed loudly his head falling into his hand, tiredness coating his soul, Hinata was a good friend; maybe the friend he was the most close to but talking to Hinata was like talking to a puppy on drugs. It was impossible for him to stop moving and harder to understand anything he was saying. 

**Asahi**  
Are you first year’s going to the party?

**Saltshaker**  
No

**Yamayama**  
Yes

**Saltshaker**  
Yes

**Milkbrain**  
HAHAHAHAHA IS SOMEONE IN LOOOOVEEEE?  
YAMAGUCHI-KUN I THINK WE SHOULD GOOOO TOGETHER SO THAT FOUR EYES CONTINUES HIS JEALOUSY BUABAHAHA

Kageyama felt a petty evil spread through him knowing Tsukishima was protective of the green haired male; he didn’t know if it was enough for them to be in a relationship but it was enough for Tobio to use as bait

_Saltshaker has left the chat_

_Yamayama added Saltshaker_

_Saltshaker has left the chat_

**Milkbrain**  
He seems less salty more angry spice powder

**Irritating Orange**  
Bad Kageyama you should be better then this

_Yamayama added Saltshaker_

**Yamayama**  
GOMEN TSUKII

**SaltShaker**  
When’s the party?

**Deadchi**  
At around seven, I don’t know if Ennoshita coming but apparently some of the other powerhouse students are coming. There’s a lot of people who came to Tokyo College unfortunately.

Kageyama stared at the time on the phone, it was around 5:45 he sighed allowing the sitting forward on his bed; Tobio wasn’t the type to attend parties, he was awkward and shit in general at talking to people. Crowds of people annoyed him more then ever especially now when he felt like everyone knew who he was while he was left figuring it out. There were times when Tobio faded away, when the world pressed down on him harder then he could breathe, those were the days when he drowned in the pressures of life.

He wondered if going to the party would be something that drove him crazy, it was surely going to be terrifying especially with the people but maybe it could be an opportunity to let loose.

Tobio stood up ignoring his senpai’s as he picked out some clothes to wear, he stared at them. It was a simple black jeans white shirt combination but it was better then the clothes he normally wore. He waddled into the bathroom quickly putting them on, he noticed the way the white shirt fell slightly of the side of his right shoulder, he wondered if it was his dad’s seeing the size was bigger than his normal wear.

The shirt ended up falling mid-thigh, so he tucked in one corner to show off his long legs; this was probably the first time he actually took into consideration his outfit. He stared into the mirror long quickly covering the bruise, he realized it wasn’t that dark in a way he hoped it would disappear after tonight.

He fluffed at the strands of his black hair frowning when he realized there wasn’t much he could do. He waddled back out of the bathroom with a frown moving to check the time, “TOBIO-CHAN WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM WHERE DID YOU PUT HIM?” Oikawa screamed causing the blue eyed male to flinch staring at the taller setter. He walked over, holding Tobio by the shoulders “Why do you look decent?” he asked earning a side kick from the wing spiker.

“Shittykawa leave him alone” he grumbled staring intently into the blue eyes, “so you’re going to the party I suppose?” Iwaizumi asked tilting his head to take in Kageyama’s outfit. Kageyama couldn’t help feel self-conscious, he looked down at his own outfit with a frown “Do I look bad Iwaizumi-san?” he mumbled “Yes Tobio-chan you look ugly” Oikawa butted in earning a death glare from the wing spiker “No Kageyama you look fine, I’ve just never seen you wear party clothes” he spoke before moving away.

“What time is the par—” Iwaizumi began only to be cut off by the shrilling sound “KAGEYAMA” Hinata’s voice screeched through the door loudly, a scowl painted the blue eyed male’s face as he walked forward 

“I think now” he sighed turning back to his senpai. He noticed from the corner of his eye Oikawa pulling off his shirt with a smirk, the blue-eyed setter quickly averted his eyes feeling a reddish blush rising from to his neck. 

He quickly walked to the door so that neither of them would notice, “Don’t keep shouting dumbass people are going to get annoyed” he spoke opening the door; the orange haired male was accompanied by Kentaro Kyotani, “Oh Kyotani-san” he spoke bowing quickly “Kageyama why are you red?” the small orange spoke causing Tobio to glare at him, even if he wanted to hide something there was always one irritating person who made sure he was a glass window easy to look through. “ooh Kyoken-chan” Oikawa spoke walking towards the door, he leaned over Kageyama’s back pressed his chest into him as he spoke, “You know Kyotani-san too?” Kageyama asked before Hinata quickly spoke “Yeah I told you just the other day they were on the same team we beat” he spoke frowning “ahhh, see I don’t normally listen to you” the blue-eyed male added with a smug smirk.

He could hear a sound similar to a growl leave the blonde buzz cut male, his eyes widened “s-sorry” he mumbled quickly causing Hinata to laugh “Take that Kageyama-kun” he smiled brightly before staring at his outfit.

“WAAAH YOU ACTUALLY LOOK HOT” he screeched disbelief coating his tone as he stared at him, Kageyama frowned he wasn’t one to care about looks at all but he still itched at the question “so I don’t look nice normally?” he glared at the small orange “Nope” Shoyou spoke smirking when Kageyama couldn’t attack him.

He sighed turning to say goodbye, he was very hyper away that Oikawa was still pressed against him when he turned round. His face was met with skin, “O-O-Oikawa-san put a s-shirt on” he spoke quickly trying to sound normal at the same time, his face turned red again, the blush spreading across his neck as he stepped back “Bye bye” he spoke quickly not being able to comprehend anything “Tobio-chan” Oikawa called out, the blue haired male didn’t listen waddling alongside Hinata faster away and down the hall way.

“SEE YOU AT THE PARTY!” The voice boomed down the hall causing him to frown, they continued walking in silence while Hinata continued talking to Kyotani. “Kageyama do you like Oikawa-san?” he asked randomly kageyama’s face deadpanning “no, I just don’t like skin” he spoke knowing why Hinata asked such a question “but you’re showing skin see” the small orange spoke before placing a cold hand on his right shoulder.

Kageyama flinched glaring at him not bothered to think of a retort, the problem was if he wore the outfit properly it would show some of the scaring on his left shoulder which he didn’t want. To ensure that he didn’t show he pulled it to the right more, but this unfortunately gave the effect of his outfit being off the shoulder.  
It wasn’t even that bad, it was just a little bit of skin.


	8. Oikawa Tooru is not a Genius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buhaha the chapter after this one is gonna be lit just know  
> Kenma likes kisses
> 
> also for this chapter just a little background,

Oikawa’s View

The brown-haired male watched as Kageyama and his friends left standing there a few minutes longer. He was slightly dazed with the feeling of lust for the eighteen-year-old. Seeing Tobio in the off the shoulder top he wanted to rip it off him, which probably wouldn’t have been a good idea. He sighed deeply before turning back into the room running a hand over his stomach absentmindedly, he allowed himself to ridges of his abs making sure they still existed.

“Tooru, why did you take your shirt off?” Iwaizumi asked tilting his head, the male’s eyes ran down Oikawa’s body with a smile playing on his lips. Oikawa smirked back noticing the soft red that coated Iwaizumi’s cheeks. He loved it, watching someone who was completely in love with him; it gave him a sense of power. Oikawa revelled in the idea of being able to manipulate people to his will, watching them submit easily to him, he knew how easily he could break Iwaizumi at any moment.  
When Tooru was younger, his relationship with Iwaizumi had been very different being friends they both understood that they needed each other to survive. the day he had felt the switch in his mind, everything changed. 

_Oikawa stared at the terrified Kageyama, the shorter child dropping the ball his breathing becoming heavy. Tooru could feel his heart crack, the pieces falling straight into a void. “He’s terrified of me” he spoke his voice thick with a sadness that existed deep in his soul. A tear rolled down his face._

_That day Oikawa had just lost to Ushiwaka, it wasn’t the loss that knocked at his heart; it was the smile on his mother and father’s face._

_He never wanted to hurt Kageyama, but in that moment when he terrified the younger, he couldn’t help feel the words his parents drilled into him come alive._

_‘Oikawa, you must become a god in this world everyone must worship and love you they must beg to speak to you, they must love you but you mustn’t love them’ she spoke her cold brown eyes answered staring down at the small child, his eyes were red with tears, throat scratched from screaming._

_His father quickly joined in ‘this fear you feel in the dark, this is how people should view you, a mystery’ he spoke a smile playing against his lips ‘you see we love you Tooru-chan, but—” the small child cut them off his voice a rough pitch, his voice was scratched leaving him sounding less innocent and more like a mix between a nightmare, he looked at them ‘I will never be like you’ even at the young age of five he understood everything. He understood the darkness in the world._

_When he was able to start speaking, his parents would engage in conversations he didn’t understand, even before he could speak, they would teach him the importance of being cold faced. So, when Oikawa finally started to understand, his parents began to mould him._

_His father glowered ‘you will, because you already are Oikawa Tooru; people will fear your power and will beg at your feet’ he spoke darkly, the man laughed ‘do you love us Tooru?’ even as a five-year-old, he never knew what love was; he didn’t understand how it looked how it felt what it meant. Every time his parents smiled and told him they loved him, it felt so empty._

_Oikawa balled his hands up watching the two dead eyed parents ‘I love you bot—” a slap sounded harshly, the brown-haired child falls to the side; he lay there eyes turned up to his parents that stood outside the room they locked him in._

_The sting felt horrible, but in his mind he felt nothing. As a five year old, he had learnt that pain was something that reminded him that he was alive; but in that moment he hadn’t even felt pain._

_**He felt nothing.** _

_‘YOU SHOULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE’ the woman screamed, her eyes dark and full of anger ‘All these years and you never learn’ she huffed deeply before a smile slowly rose to her lips ‘the day you see this fear in someone, you’ll understand’ she smiled turning to her husband to pulled the door close with a thud._

_**He felt nothing, was that when he first pulled his mask on?** _

_The small child shuddered his world falling into the dark._

_‘you will live in the dark until you learn to be unafraid’ the man spoke in finality, Tooru used to be afraid of the dark; he used to see all the demons his tried to hide within the dark, after a while he began to realise the demons hugged him in a way his parents never did. They wrapped him in darkness causing him to choke, but even than, he could feel._

_When he started going to Kitagawa, he had found love for the one sport he could be a control tower for his genuine joy lasted two years before the prodigy came._

_After that day, when he saw the fear in Kageyama’s eyes he realised this was what his parents meant; no one would ever truly be safe around a monster like him. The worst he could do was save them with death, if they died then they wouldn’t have to live in a world like this._

Did Oikawa want Kageyama dead?

Yes? 

Why?

To him Kageyama was someone he hated, but hate was the strongest feeling next to lo-

“Tooru?” the voice came again pulling the brown-haired male back to reality, Iwaizumi stared at him in worry standing up as he walked over to him. “you’ve been blanking out a lot” he spoke lowly pinching at Oikawa’s arm to get a reaction.

_Pain?_

_He felt nothing,_

Tooru stood there unmoving, his eyes watched the area a dull ache forming, he could tell the older male was pinching harder but he felt nothing “I wish that hurt” he spoke his voice thick with an emotion even Iwaizumi didn’t understand. The wing spiker let go, the blood rushing to the mark, his pale skin bruised slightly at the touch, 

_did my body feel the pain?_

“Iwa-chan do you love me?” he asked softly his brown eyes wandering up to meet the wing spiker’s, “Tooru you know I love you; I absolutely adore you” Iwaizumi spoke confusion in his eyes as he watched the male. 

**Love**

**How did it feel?**

**What made Iwaizumi love me?**

**How does it feel?**

**Is it cold?**

**Is it warm?**

**How does Iwaizumi know?**

Oikawa watched the male in curiosity, his fingers slowly raised to Iwaizumi’s face; skin it was soft, warm the slow blush rose to the other’s face. Oikawa wondered how it felt to blush, “you look lovely in red Iwa-chan” he teased causing the shorter male to frown “Oikawa what’s wrong?” he asked lowly, his hand raising to place it over his “how do you know you love me?” he asked his cold eyes watching Iwaizumi’s soft ones.

“Tooru, do you love me?” he asked watching the brown eyed male’s eyes with sadness, he already knew the answer,

**“no”**

“but I’m still here” Iwaizumi spoke letting the air skin between them “that’s love” he spoke pulling himself out of Oikawa’s hands. The older male could tell just from the answer that the younger hadn’t been taking his correct medication “Wait Tooru—" the older male looked hesitant before he continued slowly “…did you take your medication?” 

Oikawa felt his face become completely blank a look of anger resided in his eyes before he turned to the male “I told you never, to ask that question Hajime” he spoke deeply, he could see the blatant flinch from the wing spiker as he spoke. The taller male walked forward closing the gap between them.

“Why am I acting crazy?” he asked tilting his head down to meet the male, “N-no, it’s not that—” Iwaizumi added his voice faltering at the sudden change in Oikawa’s face, “Then what the hell is it Hajime?” he asked again stepping forward, he noticed the male step back an internal feeling of joy sang through him, there was also a feeling of sadness that tainted the joy it dug deep within him looking for his heart to shred.

There was no heart left, only a vessel to keep his human body alive; the pieces of his emotional heart were already ripped to shreds in a bin.

It was clear Iwaizumi could see the sadness in Oikawa’s eyes as he raised a hand to his face, “Tooru” he spoke softly watching the tear roll down Oikawa’s face; “You’re crying” he spoke softly causing the other to smile at him “I am?” he mumbled his finger reaching up to touch the tear,

He deadpanned slightly staring at his older friend “This is a tear Iwa-chan, a single tear; this is called eye cleaning not crying” he added his mind thundering with malicious thoughts as he spoke, sometimes Oikawa couldn’t understand himself how he spoke so normally when his mind dissolved into a mess.

They say if you crack a vase you can fix it, even if it isn’t the same; you can still fix it, right?#

But what if you **shatter** it?

You fix it,

And then **shatter** it again.

You continue the process till the broken pieces become shattered dust, what do you do then?

“Do you pity me Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked, his deep tone replaced with his normal high-pitched voice. “I don’t” Iwaizumi quickly spoke causing the male to smile, “good, now let’s get to that party” he spoke turning to pick out a shirt and some grey slacks.

Oikawa had rolled over his own emotions again, Iwaizumi let him; it was the only way that he could keep Oikawa alive.

He paired a Black shirt with the grey slacks unbuttoning a few of the top, the male then rolled the sleeves up with a happy smiled ignoring the moment that passed. He hummed softly; his mind was crying for him; he envisioned himself trapped in a corner as a child tears flowing down his face. It calmed him to know that at least he could cry for himself in his mind.

Iwaizumi pitied him, like everyone in his life, except himself.

_‘that poor third year lost his place to a first year’_

_‘he’s a genius’_

_‘Oikawa Tooru is not a genius’_

_‘you’ll never succeed until you become like us Tooru-chan, mama papa love you we know best’_

They all pitied him, were terrified of him or hated him or mistook worship for love. Iwaizumi spoke about loving him. He sometimes found it laughable, how can you love something you fear? There was only worship. Iwaizumi worshipped him, whether the older male knew that he didn’t care.

No one could love him more than he loved himself. No one would could care about him the way he cared about himself. Oikawa wondered what loving someone felt like, or how it would feel for him to love someone. 

All he had ever known was **hate.**

Oikawa turned settling on the bed as Iwaizumi walked into the shower, Tooru could feel his mind sleep again, the voices laughing at him 

_Should I laugh with you?_ He asked the voices the thundering of laughs becoming louder as if he weren’t heard even by his own mind.

He leaned down a soft chuckle leaving his lips, he opened his side draw pulling out the Clozapine tablets, he read the label again ‘antipsychotics, prescribed for Oikawa Tooru to be taken twice a day; treatment for psychotic attacks’ He shook the bottle lightly knowing very well that it hadn’t been open since Kageyama had come back.

He sighed deeply, his mind contemplating the outcomes of using it, now; in the past he always kept up with his treatment even when his parents tried to hide it, he would find a way to get back on track with his mind. It had only been a day that he hadn’t taken them and already he could feel the distant call of tender voices and his parent’s faces.

He pulled out the pack of injections with a sigh, he read it again tilting his head ‘Lorazepam, must be taken in extreme cases of attacks; do not drive while using and DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL’

He smirked slightly, if he wanted to die, he probably would have injected himself and happily drank away at the party. But like Oikawa had mentioned before he was deeply in love with himself, there was no way he would kill himself.

He placed the medicine packages in his draw again when he heard the door of the shower room opening. He let his eyes glide down the older male’s muscled torso a sound similar to groan leaving his lips; “You have a bathrobe and yet you decide to walk out in a towel Iwa Iwa, you tease” he whined softly. “Shut up Shittykawa” he spoke a reddish tint coloured the tips of his ears, quickly dropping the towel, he put on his underwear and blue jeans letting his hands wonder through the wardrobe for a top.

Oikawa groaned again standing up, he waddled over leaning his body over Iwaizumi’s warm skin a satisfied drawl leaving his lips “I want to devour you” he spoke deeply his face fitting in the space between the male’s neck. He could feel the old shudder until the touch, “says the virgin” Iwaizumi mumbled the reddish tint spreading to his neck now “I’ve been fucked by life, I am most definitely experienced in forcing it into submission too” he spoke his voice rough as his gently nipped the skin against the elder’s neck

A smile playing on his lips when Iwaizumi’s hands stopped moving in the wardrobe. “Aren’t you going to find a shirt Iwa-chan?” he chuckled deeply against the tan skin, he moved away satisfied that he had teased the other enough.

“You really are a shit, Shittykawa” he grumbled before punching the brown-haired male in the stomach. 

Oikawa doubled over with a groan a laugh mixed into it. “It’s not my fault you got turned on” he pouted whining in a high-pitched tone, he noticed the male turn “oh” he spoke subtly seeing the annoyed expression on his face, he quickly waddled away with his hands raised “I understand you want me dead but if I don’t go to the party none of the girls will look in your direction” Oikawa spoke causing the male to glared harder

“Do you have a death wish trashykawa” he glared turning back to the wardrobe, he picked a loose long sleeved top paired with a blue jean jacket “I have been promoted” Oikawa smiled before picking up his phone.

“let’s go” he smiled widely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the people who hated on Oikawa  
> Do You Get Him NoOOOW?


	9. High from your kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like i said,   
> KeN Ma lIkes KissEs

Standing at the house, Kageyama could feel himself turning red; it was a huge mass of bodies. All of them turning in different directions dancing Hinata had been around him for a few moments and then when he turned, he was gone, it was an utter mess he couldn’t tell if he wanted to drink or take care of his drunk friends.  
It was always nice to stay sane minded in insane situations.

He looked down at his phoned tilting his head when he realised, they were in a room somewhere in the large house,  
The black-haired male walked into the mass of bodies squeezing his way out when he saw the tall blonde haired male’s head “TSUKISHIMA” he shouted waddling out through the cracks of people, he waddled closer noticing a few faces he knew “ooo kuroo-san, kozume-san” he spoke staring at the two that were in his direct vision  
The room was kinda small but not too small, just big enough to hold a few of the volleyball players. It was designed in a way where there was a small couch and a few long stools, there were also various bottles of alcohol just lying around without claim.

Kenma looked up a drunk smile playing on his lips, “Oh Tobio” he spoke, the taller setter could see the red in the male’s eyes noticing Kenma was doing drugs he felt himself pause looking side to side as if police would walk in at any moment. The blonde chuckled lowly motioned for him to come closer, he sighed waddling over.   
Kenma had looked different from what Kageyama remembered, he was still short but his hair had grown longer; the blonde had only rested near the tips of his hair. The male also had an easy-going smile, one that he had never seen unless directed at Hinata; Kenma looked slightly older with his hair pulled up in a messy bun.  
There were more of the old Nekoma volleyball teammates sitting around a couch alongside some of those from Fukurodani, “HEY HEY HEY HEY” an extremely drunk horned owl was louder than the normal Bokuto, Akaashi simply sat next the male a smile playing on his lips his eyes were reddened around the sides similar to Kenma’s; high, more people who were high.

“Don’t go over” Tsukishima spoke looking tormented “Trust me” he spoke causing Kenma to chuckle “Kei Kei don’t tell him” he chuckled in a daze, he stood up himself walking towards the black-haired setter himself. “I’m on a mission” Kenma spoke pulling the blue-eyed male down to his height.

_‘kei kei’?_

_Kenma-san said kei kei?_

_What even?_

“Mission what do you—”

Kageyama was cut off by the kiss, his eyes widened when the long-haired blonde pulled forward more; he could feel the smoke blown into his mouth coughing against Kenma’s lips. The cat eyed setter pulled back with a satisfied smirk, Kuroo sighed deeply frustration clear on the black-haired blocker. “I feel like I should be jealous but that’s just sexy” he grumbled pulling at Kenma’s waist. 

_hUh_

_HUUUH_

_Huuuuuhuhuhuhhhh what the hell in fuckkey just happened?_

“Kenma you need to stop kissing everyone” the black haired male spoke sighing, Kageyama stood there blinking he hadn’t even moved he was still bent slightly at the height Kenma had pulled him down too. He was frozen completely unmoving, he could be a statue

“Earth to Kageyama-kun” the orange haired male spoke waving in front of the blue-eyed setter. “What just happened?” Kageyama asked completely in a daze, he hadn’t breathed in enough of the smoke to be high but he could feel the burn in his lungs. The cat eyed setter pouted, “I show you again” he spoke again quickly standing out of Kuroo’s hold, the middle blocker was quick to pull him back causing Lev who was sitting on the couch to laugh. 

“Whoooo Kageyama-kun your senpaaiiii” Hinata smiled causing the blonde haired male next to him to scowl, Kotani was someone that Kageyama was beginning to remember a hard hitter. 

His mind would have filled with thoughts if he had hadn’t turned to see the two men walking in.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Iwaizumi and Oikawa walk in, they both looked beautiful; but Oikawa was different he had a different charm completely Kageyama couldn’t help but stare slightly his heart pounding. He stiffened slightly feeling awkward, they were roommates with a past he didn’t remember. Yet his body reacted like he had known them all his life. Sometimes he wondered what emotions swirled around him when he saw them, the two walked over smile’s playing on their lips. 

Kenma began to stand up Kuroo sighing, “Kenma if you kiss Hajime, I will literally steal your gameboy for a month” The blonde-haired male frowned, but still continued to walk towards them “yahoo kenma-cha—” Oikawa was cut off by the rough pull to his shirt, Tobio could feel the chuckle begin in his throat when the cat eyed setter pulled the brown eyed setter into a kiss. 

He could feel an emotion swirl within his chest that he didn’t understand, lust?

_Jealousy?_

Oikawa couldn’t help smirk slightly feeling the smoke enter his lungs, he tilted his head slightly into the kiss the cat eyed setter happily complying. When the brown-haired male pulled away, he could see just how red the old nekoma setter’s eyes were, “he always goes for the pretty boys” Kuroo frowned talking to Iwaizumi who had practically settled down next to Kuroo as if to join the ‘I’m jealous but it’s sexy’ fan club.

“Kenma-chan are you—” 

Tooru was cut off again, the cat eyed setter took another puff of the weed before pulling him down again; he latched onto the tall brown haired male’s lips biting at the soft skin, when Oikawa opened his mouth slightly, he released the smoke into his system again causing the setter to cough this time moving back.

“Kenma-chan this is a nice way to get someone high but—” Oikawa pouted into the third kiss this time, his eyes gritted shut as the cat eyed setter released the smoke again into his mouth, the burn travelled down his throat into his chest the feeling clouding his mind softly. The cat eyed male pulled away; a line of saliva shared between them. Kenma was satisfied by the darkening reddish tint in the other’s eyes. 

The Kenma smiled absently placing the cigarette against the male’s lips, Oikawa took one more puff into his system; Kenma chuckled deeply pulling Oikawa back “Kenma—” this was just impossible, the blonde-haired male pulled Oikawa into another kiss. The brown-haired setter was already out of breath at this point, he could feel Kenma’s tongue fill his mouth a groan leaving his lips.

He had never kissed anyone apart from Iwaizumi so this was most definitely a shock; it was a quick kiss the blonde-haired male pushing Oikawa back towards the couch “You kiss really nicely Tooru” Kenma spoke his voice deeper and softer than usual;   
Oikawa fell back his body landing into the arms Kuroo, at this point Oikawa’s mind was filled with a cloud, Kuroo chuckled staring at Kenma who stood in front of Oikawa “Are you giving me a present?” he asked pulling Tooru into his lap a little higher.

Iwaizumi frowned knowing there was probably no point in saying anything, he had an image he had to uphold which definitely didn’t involve anything remotely gay. The muscular wing spiker could only watch literally, he couldn’t help feel jealous but he didn’t want to hold Oikawa on a leash for his own emotions. 

“Kenma did you kill him?” Kuroo asked staring down at the limp body that lay in his arms, “Hajime-kun are you okay with this, I can tell Kenma to stop” the black-haired male asked tilting his head to the male sitting on his side “He’s not my boyfriend” he laughed coldly picking up a bottle of water. 

Iwaizumi wished to be wasted, but he felt a stronger duty to get the older setter home. Iwaizumi had changed a lot looking after Oikawa had always been something, he took pride in, he often found himself happy knowing that the male relied on him. but that didn’t change the fact that incidents like this pushed him into a jealous rage.

“Testu-chan, Yahoo” he mumbled his voice deeper than before. He could see Iwaizumi smirking beside the black-haired blocker, “Tooru your voice” the spikey haired male laughed hiding the tones of jealousy. “He’s a good kisser, I wanted another round but I need another cigarette” Kenma spoke holding his hand out, “Kyaanma you can’t just use him for you pleasure” Kuroo sighed lowly; “but he looked stressed and now he looks like that” Kenma pouted again.

Kuroo leaned forward his chest pressing against Oikawa’s back as he tried to look at the brown-haired setter’s face. Oikawa had a soft smile playing on his face, he couldn’t really hear words he just could register that he was answering.

His mind felt free, the voices that had been screaming at him before left; he didn’t think nothing except that he felt normal. He was a little dazed, but it was okay. Alcohol normally trigged bad emotions, but he was quickly learning that this weed was helping him in the way he wanted.

_He wanted to be free,_

_Of everything._

“Great king is you alive?” Kuroo asked staring into the male face, “Tetsu-chan I wouldn’t be breathing if I was dead” he spoke tilting his head; “I never realized how pretty you were until now” Kuroo smirked, “Are you okay with what Kenma is doing?” he asked.

_Oikawa was more than okay with it, he loved it._

He could feel all irrationality and rationality slipping away from him, the suffocation he was feeling he finally could breathe “No” he spoke grumpy; he noticed the cat eyed male frown “I want more” Oikawa smirked causing the setter to smirk. Kuroo laughed “Kyanma you have permission to fuck him up completely” 

The yellow eyed male giggled, an inhuman sound coming from someone who was normally soft spoken; “Lev you can leave now” Kyanma spoke waving his hand to get rid of him and others, the green-eyed blocker to frown; he stood up dragging as many people out of the side room as he could, Iwaizumi sighed standing up “Don’t kill him I need him alive” he spoke walking over to Kageyama who had been staring at them the whole time.

He smiled absently walking over to where Tobio stood, he placed his head on his shoulder before frowning “I guess we have to leave” he spoke deeply into the young setter’s neck. Tobio stilled a shudder running down his back, “I-I-I”

“l-l- what?” Hajime spoke mocking the slight stutter.

Iwaizumi took the hand off from around his shoulder leaving the male, standing there.

Kageyama could now fully register that he had been staring the whole time, it took the shorter spiker for him to go into this realisation but he hated that he was entranced. 

He hated that his body felt emotions for the setter and spiker that his mind couldn’t bother to remember.  
\----------------------------------------  
Tsukishima stood there silently his eyes turning to face Iwaizumi who sat with a bottle in his hand, the tall blonde had wondered if the wing spiker was even slightly jealous it was obvious that they seemed close. He sighed slightly leaning against the wall when the green haired male walked back into the side room, Tsukishima smiled softly.

“Tsuki why is everyone leaving?” Yamaguchi asked watching some of the volleyball team leaving the side room going to the main hall. Tsukishima was going to answer when his eyes widened. He hadn’t realised the cat eyed setter was already making his way over until he was standing right in front of him. “Kenma-san!” Kei spoke loudly only to frown when the two connected lips.

He turned to the Kuroo who had a large smirk on his lips, the black-haired male removed a coat next to him motioning for the angry blonde to join the ‘I’m jealous but that shit’s sexy club’

“You two might as well stay” Kuroo laughed, “seeing as you don’t like big crowds you can watch us fuck up pretty king here” Tsukishima sat down a scowl playing on his face, the brown-haired setter lay against his chest holding a cigarette up against his lips. “Is that even Oikawa-san?” he asked waving a hand in front of the setter’s face.

Tsukishima’s attention turned back to the green haired pinch server a smile playing on his lips. He couldn’t help admit it was funny watching Yamaguchi, the green haired male had literally combusted short circuiting. When Kenma pulled away his eyes darted left and right before landing on Tsukishima in shock, the tall pinch server approached confused “did that happen?” he asked lowly. Kei just laughed moving slightly into Kuroo’s side to make space on the couch for the pinch server, the green haired stared at him before settling down onto Tsukishima’s lap instead.

The blonde-haired blocker froze, his mind screaming at him. there were two options running through Tsukishima’s mind. He could make it awkward or he could just let it happen the way it was. Yamaguchi stiffened realising that maybe that was the wrong idea; he was out of his mind after the kiss, which wasn’t unreasonable it was unexpected to say the least.

“Uh Tadashi” the tall blonde spoke lowly, “pass me a drink” he continued, he opened his legs wider allowing the pinch server to slip off his legs and into the space between them. Tsukishima needed a drink, there was no way he was going to continue his night unless he was drunk. The pinch server could feel himself slipping in between his legs. 

Tadashi was mentally screaming as he picked up the alcohol bottle, he passed it behind him before picking up his own and chugging it with ferocity.   
This night was most definitely going to be one to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all, you just make me happy   
> also screech there's going to be a lot of Oikawa this and Oikawa that because i'm setting something up   
> so meh   
> also I love your comments especially when you really tell me what you hate and love because it gives me joy   
> so thank you kitties


	10. Ruined who's life?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was going to postpone this but nyeheheh you deserve a chapter   
> also   
> ^^ i love you all
> 
> Also did you forget?  
> Kenma...  
> What is he known for?  
> surely the brain of nekoma is the brain because of how he recieved such high level of thinking   
> EHEM  
> 'The GAmE'  
> wbfowhrg#paworhf'oauwgr'aiwhrg#aw8rgf#0a

Kageyama was drunk.

Or he was getting there, 

Right now, he still had rational thought.  
He started picking up the drinks the second Iwaizumi left the side room, the sound of music boomed into the walls, he watched the blonde-haired beanpole and Yamaguchi; the cringe alone had him picking up bottle after bottle. At some point everything was blurry in a slow-motion drawl.   
All he could do is settle in a chair placed in the room, he wanted to know exactly they meant by ‘fuck up the great king’ 

There was a feeling that burned in his chest, it had started when he saw Oikawa walk in; he was hoping the setter would come to talk to him but Kenma had already stolen him before he could blink.

The thought alone had him burning up in a 

_Jealous rage?_

Oikawa was completely gone; his eyes were red as if he had cried for a whole week. Kenma had been watching, waiting would be more accurate. He was waiting for Oikawa’s eyes to turn red, the second the brown-haired setter had walked into the room he could see the stress and a sadness in his eyes. He had been analysing Oikawa for two years, so he had been waiting for a chance to see something other than sadness in his eyes.

Kenma knew very well about the accident that had happened with the setter’s friend, it was something that everyone talked about at his school. Some in his class still to this day talk that Oikawa had let down his team, how he was the reason his friend running out into moving traffic. It was a story that travelled around the districts, he never understood the brown-haired setter. When he first joined the university, Oikawa had already been a year ahead of him alongside Kuroo, he was shocked the person he heard about the ‘Great King’ looked nothing like what the students at school spoke about.

They made him out to be a monster, that drove his friend to his death.

A captain who couldn’t support the mental state of his players.

Kenma was after all, extremely observative he could see everything. Although he had never properly met before university Kenma had been sure that he used his two years to his advantage to see into the mind of Oikawa Tooru.

He had realized along the lines that Oikawa had a form a psychosis.

Ever since then he wanted nothing more than to solve the game of Oikawa’s mind.

Kageyama walked forward, his full form was now complete. 

_Drunk._

Completely and utter drunk.

Kenma was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the setter stumbling. The blue haired male walked forward standing in front of the shorter “Youuuu Kyaaanma” he spoke leaning down, Kuroo chuckled deeply seeing Kageyama drunk for the first time in his life.

He shifted slightly moving Oikawa higher on his lap, he wanted to use his shoulder as a viewing platform to watch the drama that was about to unfold. “Tobio you seem drunk” Kenma chuckled “it’s your fault” he grumbled deeply a whine blatant in his voice.

The yellow eyes narrowed, it was most definitely amusing…

_Wait_

Kenma looked at the reddish flush on Kageyama’s skin his eyes narrowing.

_Did Kageyama Tobio have a thing for Oikawa?_

“I have a question” Kenma spoke his eyes wandered to Oikawa, the setter had a sat up slightly the unfocused look on his eyes had focused slightly  
“Can I kiss you?” Kenma continued.

There were six people in the room, two were completely engrossed in a drunken conversation, those two were Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. And the other four was all involved in the little game Kenma had been playing; he had completed his first mission which was to get Oikawa high in a hidden manner. That had worked especially after he had kissed everyone before the brown eyed setter.

_Now he had another mission, finding Oikawa’s weak spot._

He wanted to know something that made the emotionless setter feel emotion.

When he noticed the glint in Tooru’s eyes he realized that Kageyama was someone his mind saw highly, the drunken male tilted his head at Kenma his drunken voice grumbling at the mention of possibly kissing the yellow setter. “You stole Oikawa senpai, I don’t want your kiss” Tobio spoke glaring his voice sounding flat.  
#  
Oikawa sat up against the black-haired male’s lap he was very clearly listening now even though his mind was in a cloudy heaven he still understood everything. Kuroo knew what Kenma’s aim was, he didn’t understand why Kenma wanted to play ‘saviour’ but it was probably the idea of it being like a game that made Kenma excited. The only reason Kuroo wanted to help was because he knew Kenma would do it without him either way, so why not enjoy helping his friends.

“How did I steal your Oikawa senpai?” The yellow eyed setter asked a tone of mocking tainting his word “I Waaaaanted to speaaaak to him but you ttooook him away” he spoke glaring. Kenma chuckled, he found it ironic how childish Tobio was being; he had never seen him like this, the black-haired setter was always so uptight.  
“Tobio-chan I’m still here—” it was like Oikawa wasn’t actually allowed to speak, he hadn’t managed to get a whole sentence out before Kenma pressed his lips against the brown-haired setter’s lips. He could hear the shocked yelp from Tobio’s, a smirk played on the cat eyed person’s lips hearing the distaste; he just had to push Kageyama enough to see the result of his ‘game move’

Oikawa groaned into the kiss, he walked to lean forward but Kenma help his body down against Kuroo’s, his hand began to make its way under the setter’s shirt. Oikawa could feel the cold hand, shifting slightly his breathing quickened. he pulled back breathing heavily “Kenma-chan—” he spoke feeling the hands rub against the ridges of his abs “Oooh Tooru you have a nice body” he spoke his red eyes staring into the taller setter’s eyes 

Flustered, that was the only way to explain the look in his eyes Oikawa’s chest rose “Kenma...” Kuroo spoke staring at the expression on the setter’s face “you’re going to give him a heart attack” he spoke smirking slightly, he had to admit seeing Kenma being dominant was something he never expected. It was just sexy; it was a good thing Kuroo wasn’t the jealous type. He knew Kenma was his boyfriend no one else’s, “I won’t give him a heart attack” Kenma spoke tilting his head to stare at Kageyama, he was still watching, he was still standing where he was before. 

The emotion was building in Tobio’s eyes, it had to be jealously. That was what Kenma had thought, he was just hoping he was right.

“Tooru-san are you a virgin?” Kenma spoke tilting his head at the reaction he could see the male going red; Oikawa was going red. Oikawa had blushed for the first probable time ever, even if the high had induced.

It was still a rare sight.

The one who was emotionless was embarrassed, Kenma smirked leaning forward “I’m going to change that” he spoke a seductive drawl in his voice. His fingers moved down unbuttoning the setter’s face. He could feel the anger growing behind him, one more push.

Kenma smirked staring at the older’s chest, Oikawa was practically out of his mind; he was confused, lustful and literally hot. His body felt warm sensitive, his mind wasn’t stuck on loop he was finally living a moment for what it was.

Kenma’s trailed the finger up his chest, he turned to face the younger setter; the drunken male held a bottle between his lips the anger in his eyes. One more push; Kenma stared into the blue-eyed male’s eyes his finger stopping over Oikawa’s nipple. 

“Your Oikawa-senpai is mine” he spoke before rolling it between his fingers. The Older setter lurched forward a whine leaving his lips. His voice came out breathy in a weak manner.

It was a split second, a literal second decision.

Kageyama had pushed the setter away pulling Oikawa to his feet, high.

“hoW dARe yOu?” He asked completely out of his mind, “I hate you” he spoke glaring into the brown-haired setter’s eyes, “What the hell are you doing just letting him mess around with you?”

Kenma stared wide eyed before settling down on Kuroo’s lap “Well you’ve gone and done it” the black-haired male spoke leaning onto the two toned hair male’s shoulder.

“Even when we went to Kitagawa, I cared so much about you and here you are whining for someone you don’t know?” Kageyama spoke deeply holding the red eyed male close to his face.

Oikawa stared, mind blank listening to his words.

Kageyama.

Remembered,

“You think I will give you to anyone?” he spoke not knowing what he was actually saying at this point. All he knew was that his drunken mind was driving him into a state of remembrance, the admiration he felt for Oikawa, the want to be exactly like him.

Oikawa was frozen his breaths uneven as he looked slightly down at the angry male, “You’re the monster that destroyed my life, you changed everything” he grumbled he couldn’t stop himself the weed was controlling his thoughts “No Oikawa-san, You destroyed your life” Kageyama spoke lowly

Oikawa knew that. 

He knew that more than anyone.

His mind was too clear for him to tell himself Kageyama was the problem,   
Oikawa knew, in that moment 

_That Oikawa Tooru ruined Oikawa Tooru’s life._

He did it himself.

He wished for the nasty voices to come back and save him from the clear thinking. But they weren’t there, all he could hear was Kageyama and how right the younger setter was.


	11. Extra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of Tsukishima and Yams for those who wanted it.  
> Also gonna post another chapter a little later
> 
> I WILL POST LATER REMIND ME IF I FORGET

Tsukishima could feel the alcohol in his system as he began speaking to the green haired male, “How you liking the party?” he spoke letting the drunken tone take over as he leaned into Yamaguchi’s shoulder, freckled male froze up slightly before he tilted his head to the side Tsukishima’s face was.

The blonde could feel Yamaguchi’s breathing against his lips, the green haired male flinched away leaving a gap between their faces “I-It’s okay considering Kenma-san has left us alone” he spoke lowly picking up his second bottle. Tsukishima smirked slightly noticing the reddish tint rise against the eighteen-year old’s neck, it was a time like this that the blonde-haired male was happy he was confident due to the alchohol. 

His lips pressed against the space between Yamaguchi’s neck and ear, he could feel the pulse under his lips, the pounding of the male’s heart “Do I make you nervous?” he spoke softly against him feeling the male freeze even more “Y-y-youu Tsukii as if” the green haired male spoke shifting into his lap; Tsukishima groaned his fingers holding Yamaguci’s hips in place “Don’t do that” he grumbled lowly causing the male to turn bright red. 

Yamaguchi could feel his soul screaming, he was too sober right now; of course, he was attracted to the blonde Tsukishima was the only person he laid his eyes on, his attraction to the taller was obvious. He took another breath leaning forward to pick up the alcohol bottle, Tsukishima’s fingers wrapped over Yamaguchi’s causing him to still “You can’t talk to me sober?” the blonde asked leaning over the green-eyed male’s body, “Tsuki you’re drunk” he spoke quietly.

“Of course, I am” he grumbled there was a moment of silence the, Tsukishima had completely forgotten the other people in the room; he decided it had nothing to do with him. right now, he was building the courage to tell Yamaguchi how he felt, “Listen I need you to be sober to hear what I say” the blonde spoke a softness that he reserved for the ex-pinch server.

Yamaguchi swallowed slightly, “I like Tsukishima Kei” he spoke; 

_Huh_

_Huuuh?_

_Wait_

_Hold up_

“Wait” the blonde-haired male spoke, his brain just fucked up “did I say I love myself or did you say it?” he asked “I said it” Yamaguchi spoke raising an eyebrow. “I see” Tsukishima spoke, his chest pounded against his ribs literal dizziness arising from how fast his chest thumped. 

_Oh my god Yamaguchi liked me?_

_Not Kageyama?_

_"Why would I like Kageyama, Tsukki what are you mumbling about?" The blonde haired male froze again,_

__I did not just say that out loud_ _

_I mean the green haired male was always so supposed of the black-haired male, he almost believed that he was in love with the setter. He took a deep breath noticing Yamaguchi turning to face him, the green haired male switched to straddle the blonde shyly “My answer?” he asked in a soft tone, eyes not really looking at the other.  
Tsukishima stared at the freckled being in front of him, his heart pounded more; “You’re so beautiful” he grumbled eyes wide with adoration, the yellowish gold tinted eyes stared deeper into Tadashi’s grey green ones._

_Tsukishima’s long pale fingers wrapped around Yamaguchi’s face pulling the male into a kiss, he could feel the warm skin of the other’s lips press against the satisfaction causing a groan to leave his mouth. He tilted his head, slightly feeling the pressure of Yamaguchi’s tongue fight for dominance; it was a shock but the younger male won causing him to groan pulling back from the kiss. He stared at Yamaguchi watching the smirk playing against his lips with slight shock._

_“What did you do to my Tadashi, you demon?” Tsukishima spoke in a low tone his lips attaching to Yamaguchi’s neck, the green haired male sighed slightly leaning back into the air; the pale finger pulled at the blonde hair “TSUKISHIMA WHAT IS THIS?” the voice spoke loudly causing both of the males to break out of their trances.  
The black-haired middle blocker from Nekoma stared at the couple in shock it was only then he had realised that Kageyama and Oikawa were gone. “What?” he spoke lowly glaring at Kuroo “I can’t believe you managed to tell him” he spoke wide eyed. _

_Tadashi smirked watching the reddish tint rise on Tsukishima’s face before pulling the blonde-haired male’s face too meet his “You still haven’t given me a reply Kei” he spoke drawling the name slightly. Tsukishima froze up slightly feeling himself heat up with lust at the way Tadashi spoke his name, the tall blonde stood up arms under the green haired male’s body “I’m going home” he spoke walking out the door with Yamaguchi in his arms._

_“You want a reply right?” he spoke deeply his lips pressing into the male’s neck, “I’ll give you one”._


	12. Psychotic Episode?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning,   
> Psychotic episode; mentions of blood
> 
> wow i remembered my trigger  
> also I hope this is starting to make sense because I know how i want this story to end.
> 
> Answer the question in the notes xx

Kageyama pushed the male slightly, he was burning with a jealous rage; he was too drunk to understand. His mind swirled slightly as he picked up the water bottle. He had managed to unlock a memory, one where he stood watching Oikawa serve; where he remembered Oikawa as someone he admired and wanted to beat.

_Wait why was he reacting like this?_

His mind was slowly recalling more, probably the drunken rage unlocking more then he wanted to unlock; his eyes watched the male tilting his head 

_Was that even Oikawa?_

_Perfect serving, the Great King_

The one who had a hard exterior and strived for perfection, why did I have an expectation?

Kageyama gripped at his head slightly, he settled down into an empty space staring at the older male’s face before looking away; his mind swirled letting the cold water drown him. Thoughts were becoming clearer, he could see the vision in his mind standing in the court; he remembered utter fear but not his fear,

He remembered the day he was subbed to play in a match, 

_Oikawa had been messing up all his combinations that day, somehow, he had seemed less perfect and more on edge then he had ever been; we all assumed it was due to the opponent Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama remembered trying how the older would look up to the stands after each point and the mood worsened. When Oikawa stood on court that day, even Tobio thought it was for the best that the team sub him out;_

_When Kageyama was subbed in, he remembered the sense of joy; he felt on top of the world standing in the court. He could see his father from the stands and his mother, although there were problems, they were still there to watch him. Tobio’s heart swelled with the need to do better to show them that he was perfect, to show them that he could get a perfect mark here. When Kageyama stepped into court, they almost scored a perfect set; receives were weak which lost a few of the points but those were things that he couldn’t control. He could see his father smiling at him the whole time his heart warm, even his mother had a soft smile playing on her lips._

_It was going to be the best, but that’s when he noticed; there were other parents in the stand that day, but there were two that caught his eyes. They smiled bigger then anyone there, as if Kageyama were their son, he couldn’t help feel uncomfortable trying to smile back at the random people._

_They didn’t win the game unfortunately because of the set loss in the first half of the game, but he still did what he could to close the gap. Kageyama remembered feeling so proud of himself until he looked over,_

_Oh, how he wished he never looked over._

_When he stared straight into the brown eyed setter’s face, he noticed a look of complete heartbreak; there was a look of complete fear in the older's eyes a rendition of sadness appearing within them too. Oikawa’s eyes turned up to staring at the weird parents that had been smiling at him, even then when Kageyama looked up to see where he was looking, he noticed they were looking still at him._

_He could see a part of Oikawa’s mask crack before being glue back together a huge smile playing on his face as he stood up “Well done everyone, we will get them next time” he spoke his voice completely steady “Tobio-chan you’re amazing” he spoke patting the black-haired male on the head before turning away._

_I wanted to beat him,_

_I wanted to prove to myself that I was the best; what’s wrong with that?_

_So why did my twelve-year-old self feel so sad at his expression?_

_Tobio had wondered if he was the reason Oikawa became like that, he wondered if he beaten the male._

The memory shifted blurring in his mind, he tried to blink and save the memory for another day when it came tumbling; 

_“Oikawa-san can you teach me the toss serve” the twelve-year-old asked staring up at the person he admired most, he watched a look of fear and horror enter the older male’s eyes seeing him stumble forward “GET AWAY” he screamed causing the younger blue eyed setter to flinch,_

_Kageyama stared at the young Oikawa watching him in fear, his body shook violently seeing how Iwaizumi stepped in to stop him; in that moment Tobio felt his face change to one of utter fear, his couldn’t stop himself as the ball dropped with a thud he turned away._

_That day he saw his mother in Oikawa’s eyes._

_Kageyama felt himself being pulled back to reality, downing yet another bottle of cold water; it cooled his mind the image of the party room entering into his mind. His body wasn’t scared of Oikawa, he was never scared of Oikawa. Tobio realized he had been scared of the fact he could see the same crazed expression his mother had, is that why his muscle memory flinched away from the older setter._

Kageyama gulped the water, feeling himself sober just a little more. He noticed that Oikawa’s eyes were still red as ever; he was high probably high enough to reach another planet. Tobio’s eyes then moved to glare at Kenma, but that was impossible because he realized the cat eyed male was happily making out with Kuroo.  
He groaned lowly, sobering up more the cringe was enough to sober him.

Oikawa stood there, he could hear the words Kageyama spoke repeating again and again

_‘No Oikawa-san, You destroyed your life’_

He destroyed his own life.

That’s not what he wanted to hear

He wanted to hear his mind tell him it was Kageyama’s fault.

He wanted to someone to blame,

**Anyone.**

The brown haired setter could feel his body becoming blank, he turned to stare at Kageyama watching the blue eyed setter, 

_Why can’t I blame you?_

_Why are my thoughts so clear?_

He stared at the male for a second longer before realising Kageyama’s eyes widen more, “Oikawa-san?” he spoke softly walking over, Tobio’s hands reached out the pale fingers resting under his eyes; Oikawa looked down to where his hand had been noticing the moisture on the younger male’s finger

He sighed quickly trying to regain his composure, “Why are you crying Oikawa-san?” Tobio asked, his voice relatively softened, “Tobio-chan that’s a tear, a single tear; that’s not crying that’s a self-cleaning mechanism” he spoke numbly, the younger frowned before reaching out to the other eye “it’s not one tear” he mumbled frowning more.

He could tell; his mind was slowly growing in turmoil. 

“Phone” he spoke deeply turning to the cat eyed setter, he didn’t want to stare any longer at the younger male; it was driving him crazy to think that he even let Kageyama touch him.

The two broke out of their make out session, their eyes widening at the sight of Oikawa “Give me your fucking phone” he spoke again a smirk playing on his face, Kageyama flinched hearing the dark tone, “What scared I’m going to hit you?” he spoke coldly pulling the phone out of Kenma’s hand roughly.

Tears.

Not one single tear.

But tears, 

Oikawa Tooru was crying.

Kenma couldn’t tell if this was an achievement or if he had seriously fucked up; he quickly reached into his pocket pulling out the phone. “You want Hajime right?” he spoke staring at the look in Oikawa’s eyes.

Sadder, 

Did Kenma fail his game? 

Had he made Oikawa worse?

Oikawa nodding sitting on the table in front of them, he could feel the tears drop into his palm, “Go away” he mumbled flapping his hand at Kageyama to leave, hearing his own voice thick with emotions; Tooru was utterly in a mental pain that his own body decided to take advantage of his thoughts.  
The drops fell into his hand, he laughed slightly a chuckle leaving his lips.

He was having an episode; it was starting slow but he was having one. 

‘oi kenma—”

“Not Kenma, your worst nightmare; take me home” he spoke lowly cutting Iwaizumi from speaking, his voice sounded deeper as if he were slowly falling into a shallow pit. 

He turned to Kageyama glaring at him for a second, in that moment his mind couldn’t find reasons to hate him that made sense. Instead, he felt himself go utterly blank, Oikawa was worse then what he that he had been; he wanted to see Tobio in pain more. 

“Shittyka—” 

Iwaizumi began as he walked in only to be cut off by the look of tears in the other’s eyes. He stared at Kenma wide eyed before walking forward faster. Kageyama was silent, he could see the tears but he didn’t understand what was going on, “Did he drink?” Hajime asked quickly pulling Tooru’s face up.

“I don’t know” Kenma asked watching as Iwaizumi placed his hands on the setter’s face “Tooru?” he spoke waving at the other, he looked up eyes dazed completely; he noticed that his shirt was completely undone his eyes widening “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” the male screamed turning to face the two on the couch, he noticed Oikawa flinch his face falling. 

“we didn’t do anything, these two spoke before he started crying” Kenma spoke motioning towards Kageyama. Kuroo was shocked, at the moment everything was going south; “Hajime he’s just crying” Kuroo spoke not understanding why it was a big deal.

“No, he’s gone” Iwaizumi spoke crouching back down, he buttoned a few of the buttons before pinching Oikawa again “Tooru” he spoke his heart heavy when he didn’t react. 

He pinched him harder, “Tooru” he spoke frowning deeply.

Kageyama walked over, frowning “Iwaizumi-san?” he asked crouching beside the wing spiker; Oikawa was staring blankly ahead but he wasn’t replying Oikawa had fallen into the depths of his mind. 

“Kageyama please tell me did he drink alcohol?” Iwaizumi asked, “I don’t know Iwaizumi-san, but can you tell me what’s going on?” he asked now sober enough to speak using coherent thoughts.

“i-I don’t know if it’s for me to say” Iwaizumi spoke shaking at Oikawa’s body “Iwaizumi-san I promise I can help” Tobio spoke softly, prompting the shaken older to speak; 

In Kageyama’s memories Iwaizumi had always been like a pillar and a rock; he always protected those that he cared about no matter what he was someone he didn’t imagine breaking ever.

The older wing spiker groaned deeply; he knew that if he had told Kageyama what was wrong with the setter than it would change a lot. His friend wanted the younger dead, that unfortunately wouldn’t be a crime; the worst that could happen to Oikawa is he would be sent to a mental institution or be forced to take the meds he was missing. Then his parents would pay for him to be taken back out, bad things like prison don’t happen to the rich.

Iwaizumi stared at the blue-eyed male with a frown, 

But if Iwaizumi told him the truth, he might regret it but his Kohai might actually be safer. The wing spiker was really weighing the cons of telling him, Hajime and Oikawa had done a lot of bad things but psychological damage was probably what he considered Oikawa’s low point.

“He is easing into a psychotic episode” he spoke lowly catching Kenma’s attention “Normally before he has them, he becomes unresponsive; it takes time before he bursts out” he mumbled checking for even the slightest change “we need to get him home” he spoke lowly.

Kageyama was in shock. 

Psychotic Episodes?

Kageyama stared at the brown-haired setter, laughing internally as he watched him longer. 

No wonder you remind me of my mother.

Tobio stood up not showing that he was in shock, instead taking action to get the male home. “Kenma-san can you phone a taxi for us?” he asked tilting his head towards the two, his mind was a little slow but it wasn’t as bad as before. Kageyama was somewhat sober enough to account for his emotions. The blonde-haired cat nodded slightly he could process later what he had just learnt.

Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa up, the brown-haired setter had still been staring ahead unresponsive; Kageyama joined round on the other side pulling some of the weight onto his side as they walked out. 

Tobio didn’t know what to think, 

The person he admired and aspired to be like was psychotic?

It was a weird feeling knowing that Oikawa had mental problems, how could he be?

Oikawa was so perfect, he smiled at everyone except him and was a great captain. He made sure that everyone around him was uncomfortable although Kageyama felt hated, maybe Kageyama did want to crush Oikawa. If he did then he would be the best setter in the prefecture, but did he want to destroy Oikawa like this?

They moved through the masses of people ensuring that Oikawa wasn’t crushed when they arrived to the curb to wait for the taxi, “Iwaizumi-san how do we know when he’s going to start?” the younger asked tilting his head to stare at Oikawa “I don’t know Kageyama, I just don’t want to say anything to trigger him” he spoke also tilting his head to stare at him.

Oikawa was smiling slightly now; he could hear his the two clearly, he could hear everything but his mind was completely messed up. His body didn’t move the way he wanted it to, he felt nothing.

“I want to feel” He spoke deeply causing Iwaizumi to flinch “Tooru?” he spoke quickly Oikawa smiled softly the car pulling up to the side, Kageyama was quick to move forward practically shoving the brown-haired setter and the black-haired wing spiker into the car.

He didn’t want to get in the way, he chose to stay quiet instead.

“Ahh Tobio-chan is here too” Oikawa spoke, it was simmering the episode was simmering within him; his thoughts were correlating but he could slowly feel the correlation slipping.

The male stared at Kageyama blinking to get the blurry tears out of his eyes. “Tooru-san” he spoke using Oikawa’s name instead, 

The older smiled softly turning to watch the scenery as the car drove by, Kageyama looked pasted him at Iwaizumi who looked stiff with worry. “We are going home Tooru-san” Kageyama spoke trying to make the older respond, “Home?” he spoke his eyes widening.

“I don’t want to g-go home” Oikawa spoke.

“Okay we won’t go” Kageyama spoke quickly causing the brown-haired setter to nod childishly.

Tobio was used to this, he knew how this worked; he had spent years watching his mother go crazy until she committed suicide. He didn’t remember everything, but things like her eyes were something Kageyama could never forget, Tobio stared at the dazed look in Oikawa’s eyes wondering what he was thinking about and why he was so still. It took a few minutes before they arrived at the hostel entrance, he was quick moving out his hands reaching down to pull the brown-haired setter out.  
Oikawa walked forward his mind was peaking, the feeling of disarray filling as they walked towards the small room that they all shared.

Instead of seeing the room, he saw the basement room; the one his parents locked him in to teach him the value of sleeping in the dark. The one where all his dark demons lived, the ones he thought he had left in the past.

That room, he saw that room.

Oikawa froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the much promised chapter  
> also I want to explain the situation but i want you to figure it out hmmm  
> what should I should? explain it a little bit or let you try figure it out?


	13. Author Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to explain just slightly, to clear up a little bit.
> 
> Make sure you read, it's important in the story.

Hoi, it's me your faithful author the one who likes giving you pain.

What I wanted to say was is that; 

Kageyama is an amnesia patient, he gets into a car crash in which his mother is involved and dies in. After that he moves in with his father and their family, his dad has a new wife and a child on the way; that family has another son older then Kageyama who is Terushima. The car accident takes place after Seijoh's loss to Karasuno on the same day, this means Tobio was not able to play Shiratorizawa and go to Nationals. He was actually bed bound for almost two years in which he turned most of his attention to studying because his left shoulder and wrist were shattered in the impact of the car crash.

Maki died, on the same day as the car accident. 

Tobio was released from hospital for a year, he was expecting to go to university but his cousin had moved into his house; Kageyama had only ever met him briefly but they lived together for three months before Kageyama was able to finally go to university. So this means, he was abuse for three months that he remembers; he can't remember his past with his mother except he does remember her 'condition' 

Iwaizumi has known Oikawa since a young age as his parents are friend's with Oikawa's.   
Tooru's parents are DICKHEADS/Narcissists . They gave birth to him solely because the birth of an 'heir' is mutually beneficial, when he started playing volleyball they became more violent to him. After the incident with Kageyama, he was actually deemed psychotic; and was receiving treatment for this. His parents would often pay institutions to let him go because they believed the 'psychotic' behavior was actually healthy and that allowed Oikawa to have a better judgement.  
He actually tried to get better until he say Kageyama walk into his life, which was his unknowing catalyst at the start.

Also if you think about faulting my information on Psychosis I will deck you ^^ I know quite a lot about it xd

Tooru has an actual mental illness in my story, it isn't just trauma based; I do however explain as I go along when I use terminology but please tell me if it confuses you, I'm not going to romantize it just because it makes for a better plot, I will brutally explain it even if it makes Oikawa seem bad because I personally think it should be understood. So WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS, if you're expecting Oikawa to have character development in like two chapters; you might as well stop reading.

Also the symptoms that Oikawa presents are realistic, from people I've seen; Psychosis has many underlying symptoms that come attached the biggest being schizophrenia. The people saying he's blaming Kageyama for no reason, think just a little bit because I REALLY WANT YOU GUYS TO GET THE PLOT THIS STORY IDEA IS GONNA BE FIIIIREEEE, it just makes me sad when i think commentors don't see even slightly what i'm tryna say. 

For Iwaizumi, he is a typical enabler who loves Oikawa but is somewhat scared of leaving because he doesn't know how the Oikawa would react. 

I can't say much about him because NYEHEHEE but yeah.

Hmmm If you have more questions please ask I can clear them up, without ruining the plot.  
But everything i've told you is stuff you should understand by now.


	14. Oikawa's View

Oikawa View,

The male stopped his heart pounding, Iwaizumi stared at him eyes wide “N-nnot again” Tooru spoke trying to pull his hand out of Iwaizumi’s hold, “Tooru look at me” he spoke deeply, the brown-haired setter moved back his nails digging into his palm.

**I can’t feel**

**This isn’t real, if I can’t feel pain this isn’t real.**

**It just isn’t**

“YOU CAN’T LOCK ME UP!” he screamed his eyes widening, Tobio flinched moving back when Iwaizumi held the setter. “Look at me Tooru” he spoke causing the male to face him, Oikawa’s eyes shook not being able to see the door, he could see a few rooms open down the hall. His heart pounding, he felt himself pushed into the dark room a scream leaving his lips.

Iwaizumi pushed him forward onto the bed that was closest to him, “Tooru b-breathe” the oldest male spoke restraining him from thrashing as he turned to the blue eyed male. The wing spiker was used to this, he was actually more worried about Tobio who he thought would feel weirded out.

“Kageyama the lights” Iwaizumi spoke, the brown-haired setter from moving around, when the lights switched on Oikawa was shaking in Iwaizumi’s hold. He tried to secure the younger male under him a groan leaving his lips when he felt him shift almost kicking him.

Oikawa saw the lights his vision blurring, he could hear a knock in his mind. It was like there were people at the gate of his mind. 

**Maki, Maki,**

**Kageyama,**

**Iwaizumi,**

**His parents.**

They all laughed, causing him to flinch at this point he could see nothing it was like his brain was shutting down his mental processes. He screamed again his body lurching in the other’s hold, he felt nothing.

He wanted pain, he wanted to feel.

He kept feeling nothing, was this world just fake was he even living?

“Hajime let go” he spoke deeply, his body heaving in oxygen “Tooru” he spoke again causing the wide-eyed setter to turn “I FUCKING HATE YOU” he screamed causing the male to flinch. “GET OFF ME” he screamed louder his vision clearing for a second, he could see the room almost seeing monsters in the room. He screamed lifting at his hips to push the heavy wing spiker off him, “P-please Hajime, I won’t hurt myself I p-p-promise” he spoke whimpering, the tears ran down from his eyes as he blinked at the taller.

Oikawa could feel his eyes looking around the room, why did it feel so distant?

He wanted to feel, 

He wanted pain.

He wanted to watch to feel his warm blood run down his arms, he wanted know that everything was real; what if he was just dead? And the people around him were fake mirages?

he cant be real, he cant

Oikawa is fake right? 

**I can’t feel pain, that must mean I’m dead.**

Would he be considered alive?

“Iwaizumi-san” Kageyama spoke in shock “Can I help?” he asked staring at the wing spiker’s face. He could see how he was contorted in pain, “Can you hold him down?” he asked his voice shallow. 

Oikawa could hear the voice his body turning to the sound, that voice. The one from his nightmares and his dreams.

The blue-eyed setter walked over, he gripped at Oikawa’s hands causing the male to stare into his blue eyes. 

He’s real.

When Iwaizumi moved, he quickly jumped up using his knee to press down on the brown-haired male’s stomach so he was stuck. Instead of thrashing Oikawa froze, he stared at him watching the one person that he hated aside from Iwaizumi; Tooru had always thought he would only ever hate Iwaizumi all his life, but the second Kageyama walked back in he realized there were more people he hated.

But the idea of hating Kageyama made him feel-

Peaceful

“Do you hate me Kageyama?” he spoke staring into the blue eyes with hope, those eyes were dead; there were no emotions in the younger male’s eyes it was as if he existed in the real world.

“Yes” Kageyama spoke lowly causing the wing spiker to stare wide eyed, he turned to watch Oikawa’s expression. 

The male smiled.

He was smiling

Oikawa was smiling,

Tooru stared at the blue-eyed setter noticing the scars on his left arm; his shirt had shifted slightly, broken Kageyama Tobio. He wasn’t perfect, his arm was injured his skin wasn’t smooth; 

**So tell me why I feel so happy?**

“I hate you too Kageyama” he spoke happiness tainted the brown eyed male’s tone, he noticed how Kageyama’s eyes stayed dark just watching reaction, “I hope you hate me forever” Oikawa spoke softly his eyes blinking to stop his vision from blurring he wanted to see Kageyama, he wanted to see his face.

“Kageyama just keep speaking to him” Iwaizumi spoke his hands working around Oikawa’s stuff, he was getting grumpier trying to find the injections.

“Oikawa-san why do you hate me?” he asked causing the male under him to flinch, Tooru was digging his nails into his palm harder trying to keep rationality in his mind. His thoughts were swirling harder and harder.

“You ruined everything” he spoke deeply choking on the words “My parents saw you more then they saw me” he spoke lowly glaring at the setter sitting on him, Kageyama raised an eyebrow at the explanation; clearly that wasn’t a reason to hate someone. The brown haired male stared at the expression change with curiosity, his nails dug deeper into his palm; a wince left his lips naturally feeling the skin cut.

Pain.

Finally, pain.

So he was alive, Oikawa wasn’t dead

Kageyama noticed the flinch, he pulled apart the fingers holding Oikawa’s hands in his own fingers laced into them so the setter couldn’t hurt himself. “What are you doing?” Tooru asked snarling at the male in front of him “Why the hell are you trying to help me?” he spoke again his mind clouding again. The pain had helped him think, but now his thoughts were growing.

The pain was gone, all he felt was Kageyama’s warm fingers wrapped with his; 

He hated it.

“I WANT YOU TO DIE” Oikawa screamed causing Tobio to sigh, the younger male had to keep reminding himself that this person was manic at this moment in time. “I-I have been planning ways for you to die, what are you doing?” he laughed deeply. Oikawa’s eyes were wide a psychotic tint in them as he tried to push Kageyama off, he could see the blank expression; Kageyama wasn’t even phased. It was like he had seen it all, that pissed him of more

“Get the fuck off me you shit” he spoke deeply Oikawa’s eyes darkening a shadow of danger present in them. 

“Tooru-san, what did I do wrong?” Kageyama continued his eyes watching Iwaizumi for a second, the wing spiker was still looking. Kageyama stared at the darkening expression feeling his heartrate raise watching, the venom in the older male’s tone terrified him the way his mother did. The feeling of flight entered his system as he sat completely unmoving.

“You beat me” Oikawa spoke his voice thick, more tears rolled down his eyes “but how is that my fault?” Kageyama spoke his voice softening slightly. “I wanted to be better than you, I needed to prove them wrong” he whispered staring ahead at the blue-eyed setters face. He quickly continued “You killed Maki” he spoke his mind spiralling into a different direction “How did I do that Tooru-san?” he asked

Iwaizumi was shocked listening to the conversation; any normal person would get annoyed or angry at the fact Oikawa was admitting to wanting them dead but here sat Kageyama Tobio trying to understand Oikawa’s malicious intent.

“YOU JUST FUCKING DID” He screamed darkly; his voice was becoming rough his vocal chords scratching as he spoke. “Don’t scream and explain” he continued keeping his tone from shaking; he wanted to flinch so badly he wanted to leap away from the lion waiting to eat the crow alive. 

Iwaizumi pulled the draws finally his eyes widening when he saw the injections, he pulled a single one walking over. The conversation was going, well; he watched Oikawa to make sure there weren’t any hints of him taking a malious route, the youngest setter seemed on the outside completely fine. His inner turmoil was completely different it was like he was screaming while his voice smiled. Iwaizumi was waiting for the right moment, everything seemed well although Oikawa was shouting, he hadn’t done anything that would deem utter manic.

“Explain what?” Oikawa spoke, his mind was replying almost automatically; 

“Explain how I killed him” Kageyama spoke. 

There was a moment of silence.

Oikawa froze, his body rose slightly breathing as he stared into the determined eyes of the setter. 

What could Oikawa say?

What was his rational explanation?

At the point even his manic mind quietened down, he had no explanation. “I hate you Kageyama Tobio” he spoke deeply, “I hate you so much that I just wish you would leave me alone, you and Iwaizumi. I fucking hate you both; I wish you both died” he spoke his heart pounding as he watched Iwaizumi enter the frame  
“I hate you so much” he spoke his breathing speeding slightly. “If you die then I can start again, r-right? I can do the opposite of what my parents said you and him are the only one who see me as a monster” he spoke his words cutting off, a look of sadness filled his eyes. 

**I hate him.**

**I hate him**

**I hate them.**

“Why don’t you live with us instead?” Kageyama asked “Instead of wishing us dead, why don’t you just live with us in the real world?” he spoke lowly not really knowing what he was talking about himself, he had heard could hear the distant echo of those words in his mind. It was something his father used to say to his mother before he had given up trying to make her better.

“Live?” Oikawa spoke, his brown eyes settled on the male. “You’re terrified of me” he spoke lowly “Why would I want to live for something that fears me” he spoke mockingly.

“You don’t deserve me not even for a seco—”

“I’m not scared of you Tooru-san” Kageyama spoke lowly.

“I don’t think Iwaizumi’s scared of you either; we are scared for you” he spoke again, Nothing scared Tobio more than his mother did, not even the manic male in front of him. 

Oikawa glared at him; 

If Kageyama was never scared of him, that meant he did everything for absolutely no reason.

**Keep going.**

**Don’t keep doing**

His mind was in two paths.

Oikawa pushed his hips up turning the both of them with ease. Tobio’s eyes widened for a split second realizing that his hold on the older setter wasn’t strong enough, he was easily pushed down 

“I’ll show you fear then” he spoke darkly, Kageyama’s eyes stayed wide as the long pale fingers wrapped around them pressing against his oesophagus. Iwaizumi was quick stepping forward to press the injection into the male’s neck. 

This was manic, this was the behaviour that would get him arrested, Oikawa flinched his grip on Kageyama’s neck releasing, his world was darkening as he stared into Tobio’s eyes.

He saw no fear, 

Kageyama looked like corpse, he had no emotion in his eyes.

He wasn’t scared, if Kageyama Tobio wasn’t scared

Had Oikawa Tooru made a mistake?

The Lorazepam, leaked into his system Tooru’s eyes becoming heavy he fell forward falling onto Kageyama’s body.

Darkness.


	15. Kageyama isn't glass

Kageyama took a deep breath completely dumbfound, 

He felt the weight of Oikawa’s body against his chest which reminded him that the moment that just passed wasn’t a dream; he could feel the steady breaths against his neck sighing in relief that he wasn’t dead. 

Oikawa just tried to choke him; it was like split second but he could feel each finger pressing into him.

Kageyama arms wrapped around Oikawa’s limp body that fell across him, feeling the warmth of his skin on his hand as he turned to the spiker “Iwaizumi-san” he spoke, the black-haired spiker was frantic quickly pulling his phone out of his pocket “K-Kageyama did he drink?” he asked his hands shaking at he tried to call 112.  
“Iwaizumi-san” he tried again watching the older male drop the phone, he didn’t hear continuing the frenzy to phone the ambulance; Kageyama groaned lowly disliking how he was being ignored especially after being choked by a now blackout brown haired setter.

“HAJIME-SAN” the younger shouted pulling the shorter male out of a daze “Oikawa-san didn’t drink he just smoked, can you please calm down” he spoke watching the spiker breathe. He placed the phone down, simply staring at the two blankly; “a little help would be nice” Kageyama spoke dully. The spiker nodded blinking a little, before walking over to pull Oikawa up, Kageyama sat up at the same time, his arms pulling up at Tooru’s armpits to lift him off his body.

“Iwaizumi-san, I deserve an explanation” the youngest spoke lowly, he could see the red around Iwaizumi’s eyes frowning slightly. How could someone so strong be so easy to make cry?

He frowned lowly, his expectations of both his senpais were clearly both wrong

The spiker nodded softly; his eyes were slightly reddened but nothing in comparison to the puffiness of the older setter’s eyes. He lay the male down frowning slightly at the crescent shaped cuts in Oikawa’s hands. “He’s not going to be able to play for a day or two” Iwaizumi muttered poking the hands.

Tobio sat up moving away from the bed, he picked up the first aid kit, quickly working away on the small indents in his senpai’s hands. He frowned his mind slowly recalling everything that happened tonight, the longer he spent thinking about the more he realised how real it was.

“Iwaizumi-san, who is Maki?” he asked turning to face the male after he had wrapped Oikawa’s hands “One of spikers that committed suicide because he felt he wasn’t good enough to help us go to nationals” he spoke defeated at this point.

“Okay and why am I getting blamed?” he spoke ruthlessly, he wasn’t going to let Iwaizumi off, the oldest male stared at him wide eyed. Kageyama was nothing like he remembered him from Kitagawa “Oikawa connects the two because Maki-kun said that he wished he was more like you a genius” he spoke causing the blue eyed male to smirk.

“I can understand Oikawa is mentally ill so his mind would think like that—” he paused slightly his eyes darkening at he watched Iwaizumi “So why do you allow him to do this shit?” he spoke tilting his head. Iwaizumi was stumped, he had not even for a second imagined getting interrogated by Kageyama. 

The black-haired male tilted his head the strands of his head falling to the side “Does he take Clozapine, Ziprasidone or Lurasidone?” Kageyama spoke staring at the empty injection in the older male’s hand. Iwaizumi was in shock his eyes widened as he stared at the youngest

“H-how?” he asked confused how Kageyama could remotely understand what type of medication the other was taking.

“We all have our pasts Iwaizumi-san, what level of psychosis?” he continued coldly, the oldest just blinked dumfound “Phase two; ac—”

“Ahhh he has acute level psychosis, that’s cool he’s closer to recovery” Kageyama spoke sparking slight interest in the subject; the spikey haired male stared at the young wide eyed complete confusion entering his system and a slight feeling of anxiety.

Kageyama sighed before taking the empty injection, he pulled the draw out reading Oikawa’s prescription “the bottle isn’t even open” he grumbled shaking the Clozapine tablets. Iwaizumi pulled the bottle from his hands with a frown “he’s not going to remember this in the morning” he spoke sighing “I know, after effect of Lorazepam” Kageyama nodded in understanding “How do you know so much?” Iwaizumi spoke frowning, “Do I owe you an explanation?” Kageyama remarked coldly

“No bu—”

“Then you won’t get one” Tobio spoke lowly.

Kageyama knew quite a bit about psychosis, the fact that his university major was circled around that exact topic was also amazing; Tobio had wanted to concentrate on making the volleyball team no matter how hard it was for him play, especially with the fact his left hand was out. But maybe he could concentrate more on his major? It seemed exciting enough having a psychotic patient as a roommate.

He could see most of the symptoms being similar to his mother’s the outburst and the complete blanking out. Sometimes Kageyama wondered if his father hadn’t given up on his mother if she would still be alive, he wondered that maybe if she had stayed alive, they would be able to create new memories instead of the ones that filled his mind with terror. Everyone had their way of coping with loss, some were weird. But were they as weird as Kageyama’s need to be saviour to someone who wanted him dead?

Tobio had to revaluate his own line of thinking, he always aspired to be like Oikawa because he thought the older setter was unbeatable it was kind of ironic. Kageyama had always thought he was the only one with a shit family and that no one would understand him, it was utter irony there were other broken pieces.  
Tobio sometimes thought he was unlucky that his amnesia had him forgetting most of his life, but in a time like today. 

He really and truly was the luckiest.


	16. ////

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UNDER GOING MAJOR RECONSTRUCTION

I AM REWRITING THIS COMPLETELY SO JUST WANTED TO SAY SORRY FOR THOSE WHO REALLY LIKED IT, BUT I PROMISE A BETTER VERSION SHALL BE ALIVE.   
CHECK OUT SOME OF MY OTHER STORIES I'M SURE THERE WILL BE SOMETHING YOU LIKE ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, just wanted to say hi and also ask are you enjoying ^^  
> please tell me if I should continue because if no one really likes it I get really demotivated.  
> I wrote started this story because I've had the idea since last year with a different fandom but recently thought to use it for haikyuu. Please note that the angst really is going to be heavy because I personally wanna feel when I read this myself sometimes I feel nothingness so please don't just randomly hate.


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